January 30, 2020

Jimmy Kimmel brings in his own expert witnesses to solve the Senate GOPs Trump impeachment dilemma
President Trump has obviously been watching his impeachment trial, and "he got things going bright and early today with a light sprinkling of witness intimidation directed as his former national security adviser John Bolton," Jimmy Kimmel said on Wednesday's Kimmel Live, reading Trump's rage tweet. "This is quite an argument: 'Everybody told me not to hire John Bolton, so I did, and he sucks!'" he paraphrased. "Here's a better questions: Who would be stupid enough to hire the person you just described?""Trump is all worked up about John Bolton's book," and the White House sent a threatening, but ultimately futile letter to Bolton saying he can't publish it, Kimmel said. "The only way to keep John Bolton from talking now is really for Trump to have sex with him and pay him $130,000." The big outstanding question at the impeachment trial is about witnesses. "A vast majority of Americans — 75 percent of voters — believe witnesses should be called to the trial, but 98 percent of Republican senators don't," he said. "This trial, it needs somebody to cut through the nonsense. If I could go up there in front of the Senate and present my thoughts, I think I could save us all a lot of time." And so Mr. Kimmel went to Washington, virtually, and he brought Bill (of Bill and Ted) fame and some founding fathers.
"The Republicans are worried because they don't currently have enough votes to block witnesses like John Bolton from being called to testify," Jimmy Fallon said at The Tonight Show. "Yeah, Trump is in a real jam, which probably explains why this signal was shining over the White House tonight." It wasn't for Batman.
Bolton reportedly "told conservative donors he thinks president Trump is 'mentally unstable,'" Seth Meyers said at Late Night. "But I'm sure Trump will clear up that misconception with 150 tweets at 3 a.m." Watch below.

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