January 27, 2020
Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. So, each week we round up the most hilarious 280-character quips from mums and dads to spread the joy.
The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!I don't understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our three kids.— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) January 18, 2020The gym we go to has childcare for up to 90 minutes. Dropping my kids off: BYE BABES LOVE YOU! Them: Have a nice workout mom!! Me: *showers for 90 minutes*— Krysta (@kaL12578) January 24, 2020Let’s join our hands together and pray for my husband who very tragically compared me to my mother.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 20, 2020I’d rather be woken up in the middle of the night with my kid staring at me holding a pair of scissors than my kid staring at me at any point during the day holding Candy Land.— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) January 21, 2020I’ve got 3 kids watching the same show on 3 devices in 3 separate rooms and frankly that’s the most sibling bonding they’ve done in years.— The Mom Who Knew Too Much (@Gilapfeffer) January 24, 2020Parenting: [mutters] I wish they would grow out of this damn phase. Also parenting: [sobs] They are growing up too damn quickly.— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) January 23, 2020I’m a return the permission slip after the deadline and with food stains on it kind of mom.— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 23, 2020I thought I knew what stress was but then I saw our 2 year old running around the house clutching an open tube of toothpaste— ThreeTimeDaddy (@threetimedaddy) January 22, 2020Me when I have to be the tooth fairy at night. pic.twitter.com/h6zLTf4kEn— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) January 23, 2020Me: Have a good day at school.Child: Not possible.Me: What? Why not?Child: Hey dad, have a good day at work.Me: Oh ok I see what you’re saying.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 22, 2020PTA Member 1: What if we ask parents to send in one check for the funds we need?PTA Member 2: Nah, let’s badger them with nonstop requests to attend restaurant nights, buy candy grams, do walk-a-thons, go to paint nights, and have their kids sell chocolate.Member 1: I LOVE IT— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 21, 2020Made it to that level of dad where you’d better not complain to me that it’s cold in here if you are barefoot.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 21, 2020One minute you’re young, cool, and dancing to live music every Friday night, and the next minute you’re begging your kids through gritted teeth to go back to bed so you can finish watching your documentary about avocados.— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) January 22, 2020Do you ever look at your kids and just automatically know, “She’s gonna take care of me when I’m old, he’s gonna drink with me when I’m old, and she’s gonna have some nursing home on speed dial and drop me off at her soonest possible convenience”?— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) January 20, 2020Me: “Are you excited for your first day of Pre-K?!”Child: “No. I’m excited for snacks and the weekend.”Me: “.....same.”— Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy (@storiesofamom) January 23, 2020And the Oscar goes to my daughters for their performance as deprived kids every time they see an ice cream truck— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) January 23, 2020At playgroup:My son, 3: Shiiiit. Me: (gasp) Omg, where did you hear that. Him: from you.Me: (nervously) I didn’t say that. Him: yeah, you fucking did. Me: we’re just gonna go.— Not the Nanny (@notthenanny) January 20, 202027% of parenting Is hiding to eat candy.— The Dad Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) January 20, 202010yo: Why do you always ruin a delicious supper with vegetables?— Lovely Potatoes (@robin_991) January 24, 2020My daughter just asked me if my boobs were ever round. In case you’re wondering about some of the ways motherhood crushes your soul.— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) January 23, 2020Have dogs and children so that you NEVER have to eat without being watched— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) January 23, 2020Oprah: And here, we have Arianna. Tell us: What are you most thankful for?Me: Ice cream. Spanx. Top shelf booze.O: Don’t you have two kids? What about them?M: They can’t drink booze, Oprah, don’t be stupid.— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) January 20, 2020
Latest News
Top news around the world
Coronavirus Disease

Coronavirus disease (COVID-19) is an infectious disease caused by a newly discovered coronavirus.

Most people infected with the COVID-19 virus will experience mild to moderate respiratory illness and recover without requiring special treatment. Older people, and those with underlying medical problems like cardiovascular disease, diabetes, chronic respiratory disease, and cancer are more likely to develop serious illness.

Around the World

Celebrity News

> Latest News in Media

Watch It
Work Love Triangle, Porsha's Strict Dinner Rules & Duck Phobia - "Nightly Pop" 11/30/21 | E! News
November 30, 2021
N3c4DTDaWGg
Shaking His Tatums, Tiffany's Too Busy for Love & Adele Cry-Fest - "Nightly Pop" 11/30/21 | E! News
November 30, 2021
i4baRd-AZWw
Selena Gomez Claps Back at TikTok Critic After Drinking "Joke" | E! News
November 30, 2021
oBtX4RzI_dU
Ben Affleck: It’s important to have 2 parents for the upbringing of a child | Page Six
December 01, 2021
gLQMBrL1afQ
Teen Mom's Amber Portwood says relationship with daughter Leah is ‘much better’ now| Page Six
December 01, 2021
g79CurdSDIY
Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy are still battling over daughter Bryn | Page Six Celebrity News
November 30, 2021
Bia5SQYW2Bg
ATL Mayoral Candidate Says T.I., Isaac Hayes III's Fake News Hurt Election Chances | TMZ
December 02, 2021
xFlFobjMkaU
Billy Porter Says Virgil Abloh Did a Lot for Diversity in Fashion | TMZ
December 02, 2021
alwkDkMVaFk
Rep. Tim Burchett Calls BS on Pentagon Heading Up UFO Research | TMZ
December 01, 2021
b6MI--aC_Yk
'Summer of Soul' Director Ahmir "Questlove" Thompson Joins Variety's Doc Dreams
November 29, 2021
DbTuXYlVQwY
Peter Jackson Reveals How He Convinced Beatles Paul and Ringo To Let Him Make 'Get Back'
November 24, 2021
K95MIzDth_A
Kevin Hart, Wesley Snipes, and Eric Newman Talk 'True Story' and Kevin's Acting Skills
November 23, 2021
PuTxxFD4tHM
TV Schedule
Late Night Show
Watch the latest shows of U.S. top comedians

Sports

Latest sport results, news, videos, interviews and comments
Latest Events
19
Nov
ASIAN CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Group H
Sydney FC - Shanghai SIPG
17
Nov
UEFA NATIONS LEAGUE A: Group Stage
Spain - Germany
14
Nov
UEFA NATIONS LEAGUE A: Group Stage
Germany - Ukraine
08
Nov
ENGLAND: Premier League
Manchester City - Liverpool
08
Nov
ENGLAND: Premier League
Arsenal - Aston Villa
08
Nov
SPAIN: La Liga
Valencia - Real Madrid
08
Nov
ITALY: Serie A
AC Milan - Verona
08
Nov
ENGLAND: Premier League
West Bromwich Albion - Tottenham Hotspur
08
Nov
ITALY: Serie A
Bologna - Napoli
08
Nov
ITALY: Serie A
Genoa - Roma
08
Nov
ITALY: Serie A
Atalanta - Inter Milan
08
Nov
ITALY: Serie A
Lazio - Juventus
08
Nov
GERMANY: Bundesliga
Bayer Leverkusen - Borussia Monchengladbach
08
Nov
ENGLAND: Premier League
Leicester City - Wolves
08
Nov
GERMANY: Bundesliga
Wolfsburg - Hoffenheim
08
Nov
SPAIN: La Liga
Real Valladolid - Athletic Bilbao
08
Nov
SPAIN: La Liga
Levante - Alaves
08
Nov
SPAIN: La Liga
Real Sociedad - Granada CF
08
Nov
ITALY: Serie A
Torino - Crotone
08
Nov
SPAIN: La Liga
Getafe - Villarreal
07
Nov
GERMANY: Bundesliga
Borussia Dortmund - Bayern Munich
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Premier League
Everton - Manchester United
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Premier League
Chelsea - Sheffield United
07
Nov
SPAIN: La Liga
Atletico Madrid - Cadiz
07
Nov
SPAIN: La Liga
Barcelona - Real Betis
07
Nov
GERMANY: Bundesliga
Augsburg - Hertha Berlin
07
Nov
GERMANY: Bundesliga
Stuttgart - Eintracht Frankfurt
07
Nov
GERMANY: Bundesliga
RB Leipzig - SC Freiburg
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Rotherham - Preston NE
07
Nov
ITALY: Serie A
Parma - Fiorentina
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Watford - Coventry
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Norwich City - Swansea City
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Blackburn - QPR
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Derby County - Barnsley
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Huddersfield - Luton
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Nottingham Forest - Wycombe Wanderers
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Premier League
West Ham United - Fulham
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Sheffield Wednesday - Millwall
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Brentford - Middlesbrough
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Birmingham - Bournemouth
07
Nov
SPAIN: La Liga
Sevilla - Osasuna
07
Nov
ITALY: Serie A
Benevento - Spezia
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Premier League
Crystal Palace - Leeds
04
Nov
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Group stage, Group G
Ferencvaros - Juventus
04
Nov
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Group stage, Group G
Barcelona - Dynamo K.
03
Nov
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Group stage, Group A
Salzburg - Bayern Munich
03
Nov
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Group stage, Group D
Atalanta - Liverpool
Find us on Instagram
at @feedimo to stay up to date with the latest.
Featured Video You Might Like
zWJ3MxW_HWA L1eLanNeZKg i1XRgbyUtOo -g9Qziqbif8 0vmRhiLHE2U JFCZUoa6MYE UfN5PCF5EUo 2PV55f3-UAg W3y9zuI_F64 -7qCxIccihU pQ9gcOoH9R8 g5MRDEXRk4k
Copyright © 2020 Feedimo. All Rights Reserved.