Close
Date TimeSeptember 06, 2019
Voice
Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon recap CNNs 7-hour climate change event, fixate on Bidens bleeding eye
"Last night, CNN hosted a series of town halls on climate change, and they hyped it like it was the end of the world — which it is," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. "The entire event was apparently broadcast from low orbit — never a comforting sign when the leaders who believe in climate change look like they are fleeing the planet." "When it was Bernie's turn to take on climate change, he urged Americans to think of the children," Colbert said, mimicking Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) addressing his grandkids at age 143, mostly robotic lion. "Then Sen. Kamala Harris laid down some hard truths," like the inconvenience of paper straws, he said, and former Vice President "Joe Biden also had some stuff to say about climate change — unfortunately, no one heard any of what he said because we were all too distracted by his bleeding left eye. Oh my God, is that what climate change is going to do to us? I'll separate my plastics, I'll drive a Roomba to work, just don't take my eyes!" "There was probably just a broken blood vessel — happens to a lot of people, looks scary, usually harmless," Colbert said. "Still, Biden can use it to his advantage with a strong new slogan: 'Biden 2020: Unite Beneath the Eye of Blood.'"
On The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon said he's glad football is back because "it will be nice to see someone fumble that isn't Joe Biden. Speaking of Biden, did you guys see him on CNN's town hall last night? This is real — it was crazy — he was onstage and he just started bleeding from his eye. ... I don't know if he wants to be president or the next Bond villain." Still, seven hours of town halls! Fallon groused. "Even C-SPAN was like, zzzzzzz." He found one memorable question for Sanders, though, and he snuck in one last Biden joke. Watch below.


Related Stories
The ATF Has Been Enforcing a Rule That Does Not ExistThe ATF Has Been Enforcing a Rule That Does Not Exist
Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel gawk at Trumps insane Sharpie-doctored Dorian mapStephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel gawk at Trump's 'insane' Sharpie-doctored Dorian map
Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey tell Stephen Colbert about bringing down Weinstein, why Trump survived #MeTooJodi Kantor and Megan Twohey tell Stephen Colbert about bringing down Weinstein, why Trump survived #MeToo
Mattis: Trumps troop pullout will lead to disarray in Syria and Isis resurgenceMattis: Trump's troop pullout will lead to 'disarray' in Syria and Isis resurgence
Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon have fun with Trumps ill-advised Twitter fight against Chrissy Teigen, John LegendStephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon have fun with Trump's ill-advised Twitter fight against Chrissy Teigen, John Legend
Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and Trevor Noah mock Trump for bungling Taliban peace, war with Chrissy TeigenStephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and Trevor Noah mock Trump for bungling Taliban peace, war with Chrissy Teigen
Trevor Noah and Stephen Colbert explain Boris Johnsons Brexit fiasco, find some silver liningsTrevor Noah and Stephen Colbert explain Boris Johnson's Brexit fiasco, find some silver linings
Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and Seth Meyers are getting worried about Trumps Alabama hurricane obsessionStephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and Seth Meyers are getting worried about Trump's Alabama hurricane obsession
Stephen Colbert finds 2 things to envy in Britains shambolic, Brexit-torn government. One is Black RodStephen Colbert finds 2 things to envy in Britain's shambolic, Brexit-torn government. One is Black Rod
Trevor Noah lists everything wrong with Justin Trudeaus blackface habit. Stephen Colbert sees 1 upsideTrevor Noah lists everything wrong with Justin Trudeau's blackface habit. Stephen Colbert sees 1 upside
Latest News
Dynamic duo Sam Underhill and Tom Curry give England comic-book gustoDynamic duo Sam Underhill and Tom Curry give England comic-book gusto
‘We’ve not played our best’: England can improve, Eddie Jones tells New Zealand‘We’ve not played our best’: England can improve, Eddie Jones tells New Zealand
Everton relief for Marco Silva as Bernard and Sigurdsson sink West HamEverton relief for Marco Silva as Bernard and Sigurdsson sink West Ham
Thousands Descend On London For Peoples Vote March – Here Are Some Of The Best SignsThousands Descend On London For People's Vote March – Here Are Some Of The Best Signs
Boris Johnson Forced To Request Brexit Delay After MPs Amend Halloween DeadlineBoris Johnson Forced To Request Brexit Delay After MPs Amend Halloween Deadline
Labours Caroline Flint Blames EU For Rise In Zero Hours ContractsLabour's Caroline Flint Blames EU For Rise In Zero Hours Contracts
Could France and Germany Jointly Build an EU Aircraft Carrier?Could France and Germany Jointly Build an EU Aircraft Carrier?
Mexico admits freeing Chapos son after badly planned operationMexico admits freeing Chapo's son after 'badly planned' operation
Turkish-backed forces, Kurds clash despite Syria cease-fireTurkish-backed forces, Kurds clash despite Syria cease-fire
Lebanons Nasrallah says hes against government resignationLebanon's Nasrallah says he's against government resignation
Celebrities
Jay_ZJay-Z
American rapper
Oprah-WinfreyOprah Winfrey
American executive
Miley-CyrusMiley Cyrus
American singer-songwriter
Jennifer-LopezJennifer Lopez
American singer
Kylie-JennerKylie Jenner
American television personality
Selena-GomezSelena Gomez
American singer
BeyoncéBeyoncé
American singer-songwriter
Jimmy-KimmelJimmy Kimmel
American television host
Ariana-GrandeAriana Grande
American singer
Ellen-DeGeneresEllen DeGeneres
American comedian
Justin-BieberJustin Bieber
Canadian singer-songwriter
Kim-KardashianKim Kardashian
American media personality
Taylor-SwiftTaylor Swift
American singer
Stephen-ColbertStephen Colbert
American comedian
Lady-GagaLady Gaga
American singer-songwriter
Khloe-KardashianKhloé Kardashian
American media personality
MadonnaMadonna
American singer-songwriter
Related Stories
The ATF Has Been Enforcing a Rule That Does Not ExistThe ATF Has Been Enforcing a Rule That Does Not Exist
Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel gawk at Trumps insane Sharpie-doctored Dorian mapStephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel gawk at Trump's 'insane' Sharpie-doctored Dorian map
Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey tell Stephen Colbert about bringing down Weinstein, why Trump survived #MeTooJodi Kantor and Megan Twohey tell Stephen Colbert about bringing down Weinstein, why Trump survived #MeToo
Mattis: Trumps troop pullout will lead to disarray in Syria and Isis resurgenceMattis: Trump's troop pullout will lead to 'disarray' in Syria and Isis resurgence
Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon have fun with Trumps ill-advised Twitter fight against Chrissy Teigen, John LegendStephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon have fun with Trump's ill-advised Twitter fight against Chrissy Teigen, John Legend
Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and Trevor Noah mock Trump for bungling Taliban peace, war with Chrissy TeigenStephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and Trevor Noah mock Trump for bungling Taliban peace, war with Chrissy Teigen
Trevor Noah and Stephen Colbert explain Boris Johnsons Brexit fiasco, find some silver liningsTrevor Noah and Stephen Colbert explain Boris Johnson's Brexit fiasco, find some silver linings
Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and Seth Meyers are getting worried about Trumps Alabama hurricane obsessionStephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and Seth Meyers are getting worried about Trump's Alabama hurricane obsession
Stephen Colbert finds 2 things to envy in Britains shambolic, Brexit-torn government. One is Black RodStephen Colbert finds 2 things to envy in Britain's shambolic, Brexit-torn government. One is Black Rod
Trevor Noah lists everything wrong with Justin Trudeaus blackface habit. Stephen Colbert sees 1 upsideTrevor Noah lists everything wrong with Justin Trudeau's blackface habit. Stephen Colbert sees 1 upside
Latest News
Dynamic duo Sam Underhill and Tom Curry give England comic-book gustoDynamic duo Sam Underhill and Tom Curry give England comic-book gusto
‘We’ve not played our best’: England can improve, Eddie Jones tells New Zealand‘We’ve not played our best’: England can improve, Eddie Jones tells New Zealand
Everton relief for Marco Silva as Bernard and Sigurdsson sink West HamEverton relief for Marco Silva as Bernard and Sigurdsson sink West Ham
Thousands Descend On London For Peoples Vote March – Here Are Some Of The Best SignsThousands Descend On London For People's Vote March – Here Are Some Of The Best Signs
Boris Johnson Forced To Request Brexit Delay After MPs Amend Halloween DeadlineBoris Johnson Forced To Request Brexit Delay After MPs Amend Halloween Deadline
Labours Caroline Flint Blames EU For Rise In Zero Hours ContractsLabour's Caroline Flint Blames EU For Rise In Zero Hours Contracts
Could France and Germany Jointly Build an EU Aircraft Carrier?Could France and Germany Jointly Build an EU Aircraft Carrier?
Mexico admits freeing Chapos son after badly planned operationMexico admits freeing Chapo's son after 'badly planned' operation
Turkish-backed forces, Kurds clash despite Syria cease-fireTurkish-backed forces, Kurds clash despite Syria cease-fire
Lebanons Nasrallah says hes against government resignationLebanon's Nasrallah says he's against government resignation
Celebrities
Jay_ZJay-Z
American rapper
Oprah-WinfreyOprah Winfrey
American executive
Miley-CyrusMiley Cyrus
American singer-songwriter
Jennifer-LopezJennifer Lopez
American singer
Kylie-JennerKylie Jenner
American television personality
Selena-GomezSelena Gomez
American singer
BeyoncéBeyoncé
American singer-songwriter
Jimmy-KimmelJimmy Kimmel
American television host
Ariana-GrandeAriana Grande
American singer
Ellen-DeGeneresEllen DeGeneres
American comedian
Justin-BieberJustin Bieber
Canadian singer-songwriter
Kim-KardashianKim Kardashian
American media personality
Taylor-SwiftTaylor Swift
American singer
Stephen-ColbertStephen Colbert
American comedian
Lady-GagaLady Gaga
American singer-songwriter
Khloe-KardashianKhloé Kardashian
American media personality
MadonnaMadonna
American singer-songwriter
World Rugby admits concerns over proposed CVC and Six Nations deal
What next for London Broncos after their 'heartbreaking' relegation?
Rugby World Cup 2019: Georgia team guide
Ashes 2019: stellar images from an unforgettable summer
Banning fans' free speech is not consistent with our vision of sport. Or democracy
Trump asks Latino supporter if he likes 'the country' or 'the Hispanics' more
'I thought it was basically amazing': readers' pick of the best movies since 2000
More Met Police Officers Will Carry Tasers, But 20% Don't Want Them, Chief Says
The 50 Coolest Neighbourhoods In The World – How Many Have You Visited?
It's Official: 'Hunger Fog' Really Does Cloud Your Decision Making
Strictly's Anton Du Beke Says Emma Barton Is A 'Dream' Partner Because She's 'Got Her Own Teeth'
The Prodigy’s 50th Birthday Tribute To Keith Flint Is Typically Rock & Roll
Ben Stokes attacks 'despicable' Sun story about family tragedy
Saudi Arabia knows its defences are not up to war with Iran
Half of the 147 tigers rescued from Thai temple have died
The Attack on Saudi Arabia Is the Crisis Iran Was Waiting For
China signals veto in standoff with U.S. over Afghan U.N. mission: diplomats
The Latest: Taliban claim attacks on Ghani rally, in Kabul
Taiwan says China meddling with elections after Solomon Islands cuts ties
Jihad, history link Taliban to al-Qaida in Afghanistan
Earth to warm more quickly, new climate models show
Saudi Aramco attacks: What we know so far
Tyler, the Creator review – hero's welcome for rap's heartbroken dandy
Keane: how we made Somewhere Only We Know
Tracks of the week reviewed: AG Cook, Post Malone, Bombay Bicycle Club
BBC's Graham Norton struggles to explain the whole Brexit mess to Stephen Colbert and America
The Spin | Ashes 2019: Guardian writers pick out their highs and lows
South Africa reveal scope of random drug testing at Rugby World Cup
David Squires on … a famous day for the Rebel Alliance, Norwich branch
Neglect of player welfare is something women’s football must address fast | Suzanne Wrack
County cricket: Hampshire v Somerset, Essex v Surrey, and more – live!
Carlo Ancelotti has all the pieces in place. Now Napoli seek silverware
Talking Horses: terribly unlucky Deirdre looks huge at 25-1 for Ascot
Buy a classic sport photograph: jumping in the fog at White Hart Lane
Klopp on Champions League: ‘We want to create more stories’ – video
A Minuscule Adventure review – sweet animated tale minus Hollywood distractions
Weapon of choice: how lightsabers hold the key to the Star Wars universe
Woman Rewrites Her Cervical Screening Letter, Urges NHS To Change Its Language
New ‘Politburo’ Plan To Allow Labour’s NEC To Seize Control If Corbyn Suddenly Quits
Elon Musk Claims Branding Hero Diver A 'Pedo Guy' Did Not Mean He Was Accusing Him Of Paedophilia
I Had Two Kids. Now I Work To Influence People Against Having Their Own
Gary Lineker Volunteers To Cut His £1.75m BBC Salary
Adam Mansbach’s Book 'F*ck, Now There Are Two of You' Is For Parents In The Trenches
I Put My Mental Health Before My Career, But I Still Feel Like A Failure
3 Women On Being 'Locked Out' Of Sexual Health Services Due To Their Disability
Asos Is Selling A Fake Headphone Ear Piece And We Have Questions
Gareth Thomas' HIV Announcement Can Help End The Stigma So Many Of Us Live With
Top Boy soundtrack review – a showcase of UK rap's strength and diversity
Can you pack Taylor Swift’s London tour into a day?
Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and Seth Meyers are getting worried about Trump's Alabama hurricane obsession
Valencia’s response to the crisis? A statement that infuriates fans more | Sid Lowe
Australia seal women's T20 series with nine-wicket win over West Indies
Football transfer rumours: Celtic's Edouard to join Napoli for £30m?
Stephen Colbert and Conan O'Brien pay tribute to the late, great Ric Ocasek
Ilhan Omar doesn’t trust Trump administration, warns against another ‘endless war’
How a thrilling eight minute short might save the Jurassic franchise
Why the best film of the 21st century is There Will Be Blood
The best Stephen King movies … ranked!
The Abyss at 30: why James Cameron's sci-fi epic is really about love
From Trolls to Transformers: toy films – ranked!
Pro-Remain Activists Deploy Phone App To Mobilise Against Brexit At Labour Conference
Four Arrests Over Murder Of Newlywed PC Andrew Harper
Who Is Involved In Supreme Court Challenge To Boris Johnson's Suspension Of Parliament
Rachel Riley Reveals Online Trolls Caused Her Unborn Baby To Stop Kicking
Strictly Come Dancing's Oti Mabuse Admits Fears She'd Be Axed From This Year's Series
New SNL Cast Member Fired After Using Racist And Homophobic Slurs
Hackney Fire: Woman Led To Safety From East London Apartment Block Blaze
Climate Change And Brexit Could Risk UK's Food Supply, MPs Say
Government Policy Is Putting Children In Care At Risk Of Exploitation. Why?
BBC to switch off Red Button information service in 2020
RNLI donations surge after Tory criticism of its work overseas
Protest held outside trial of Moroccan journalist accused of illegal abortion
Unbelievable: the quiet power of Netflix's fact-based rape drama
Saudi Wealth and Weaponry Still Can’t Guarantee Oil’s Protection
US service member killed in action in Afghanistan: NATO
Amazon deforestation is driven by criminal networks, report finds
Artists refusing to make gay wedding invitations win US legal battle
Newly Appointed Women’s March Board Member Accused FBI of Recruiting for ISIS
Stephen Colbert isn't convinced Saudi Arabia should send America's military into war with Iran
Dancing the salsa, Sean Spicer makes his non-sizzling debut on Dancing with the Stars
Natural Born Killers at 25: the problem with Oliver Stone's hit film
The Worst Home Decor Trends Of The Past 40 Years, From Avocado Bathrooms To Fake Fruit
Best Christmas Toys For 2019, As Tested By Lots Of Children
Gradual Heart Attacks 'Not Taken Seriously' – Here Are The Symptoms
What To Do If You're No Longer Feeling Attracted To Your Partner
Saudi attacks underscore evolving drone threat, experts say
The Latest: GOP stands by Kavanaugh, rips NY Times
Hong Kong faces commuter chaos after rare train derailment
Foxconn Billionaire Terry Gou Drops Taiwan Presidential Bid
Mexico: 5 shot dead in Tabasco bar amid holiday celebrations
Putin Loses Legendary Approval-Rating Crown to His New Neighbor
WRAPUP 1-Attack on Saudi oil facility came from direction of Iran, not Yemen -U.S. official
Odell Beckham stars as Browns beat limping Jets for first win of the season
Trevor Noah unpacks the 'messy' new Brett Kavanaugh sexual misconduct allegations
For everyone's safety, Seth Meyers would like to unleash American Pharoah in the Oval Office
Australia secure T20 series victory with nine-wicket win over West Indies
Trump says US locked and loaded in response to drone attack
California governor acts to stem 'epidemic' of youth vaping
New tropical system likely to join Humberto in Atlantic
New Kavanaugh allegation unlikely to prompt impeachment
London Zoo discovers largest amphibian in the world, which they unknowingly exhibited for 20 years
Iran seizes new boat near vital oil shipping lane
Agency could keep Three Mile Island nuclear debris in Idaho
The Obamas' first film: will American Factory be the biggest documentary of 2019?
Times faces questions all around for Kavanaugh story
Strengthening Hurricane Humberto to close in on Bermuda
Hong Kong lawmaker urges UN to probe growing 'police brutality'
Greta Thunberg Is the Climate Heroine We Need
Dad of Parkland shooting victim says taking guns away isn't the answer
Elon Musk claims 'pedo guy' tweet did not suggest British diver was paedophile
India arrests senior Kashmir leader under controversial law
Rugby World Cup 2019: Australia team guide
Former Hearts manager Jim Jefferies recovering after heart attack
Five times Mark Ruffalo was a force for good
** EMBARGO ** Climate Change And Brexit Could Risk UK's Food Supply, MPs Say
Billie Piper Was 'Worried' About Having A Daughter – And Relieved Her First Two Kids Were Boys
Labour’s ‘Moderate’ Student Wing Facing Replacement With More Pro-Corbyn Body
Wisconsin man accused of making THC cartridges charged
California Bans State-Sponsored Travel to Iowa over Refusal to Provide Medicaid Coverage for Gender-Reassignment Surgeries
Investigation into alleged surveillance abuse and targeting of the Trump campaign is in its final stages
Factbox: U.S. lawsuits take aim at vaping
Conservative group known for hardball tactics leads charge in Kavanaugh defense
Arrested Canadian police official had access to foreign intelligence
Trump's rally in New Mexico is a bid for an upset next year
Venezuelan government mulls sending lawmakers back to opposition assembly
Why Your Carbon Footprint Is Meaningless
Jürgen Klopp’s Liverpool land in Italy intent on defending their crown
England itching to get going but Maro Itoje wary of Tonga’s physical threat
Pettersen’s path to Solheim captaincy may be blocked by Catriona Matthew
Arthur Masuaku sees red as West Ham hold out for a point at Aston Villa
Arsenal’s Daniëlle van de Donk breaks stubborn Manchester United resistance
RAF serviceman dies after sustaining injury in rugby league match
SNL Fires New Cast Member Shane Gillis Over Racist Asian Jokes
Thousands Of Vulnerable Children Becoming 'Magnets' For Drug Gangs, Warn MPs
Government Policy Is Putting Foster Children At Risk Of Exploitation. Why?
Snowden says he would return to US if he can get a fair trial
Working Families Party Endorses Elizabeth Warren After Backing Bernie Sanders in 2016
Qatar announces new residency scheme for investors
Trump warns the US is ‘locked and loaded’ after attack on Saudi Arabian oil facilities
Suspected Florida Serial Killer Linked to Murders of Four Women: Authorities
Oil jumps nearly 15% in record trading after attack on Saudi facilities
Egypt says no 'breakthrough' with Ethiopia over Nile dam
Venezuela's govt says its lawmakers will return to opposition-led legislature
‘Game of Thrones’ nabs 10 early Emmys, Beyoncé gets snubbed
Duane ‘Dog the Bounty Hunter’ Chapman hospitalized with chest pains
Luxembourg PM mocks Boris Johnson after PM skips press conference
'Seinfeld' is heading to Netflix in 2021
Sacrificing Ashes for a World Cup win appears worthwhile for England | Vic Marks
Ben Stokes backs Jofra Archer to help England regain Ashes in Australia
Manchester United 0-1 Arsenal: Women's Super League – live!
County cricket: Kent's Stevens and Billings share 346 runs – as it happened
How Elon Musk is trying to explain away his 'pedo guy' insult in court
Seinfeld is coming to Netflix in 2021
‘The Wendy Williams Show’ Renewed For Two More Seasons Through 2021-22
Vaping Bad: Were two brothers from Wisconsin the Walter Whites of THC oils?
Judge's stern barks at dogfighting defendants prompt appeals
Oil prices leap as attack on Saudi facility disrupts output
New EU chief doubles down on 'European way of life' tag
What If Donald Trump Just Happened by Accident?
Political turmoil, price freeze cast shadow on Argentina's Vaca Muerta
IS leader calls on fighters to free detained comrades
Aston Villa v West Ham: Premier League – live!
Manchester United v Arsenal: Women's Super League – live!
Troubled jockey Graham Gibbons jailed after fourth drink-driving conviction
Frank Lampard wary of Valencia threat despite off-field uncertainty
Spectre of Israel Folau hangs over Wallabies' Rugby World Cup tilt | Bret Harris
Curtain falls on Super Netball season with Swifts targeting dynasty | Erin Delahunty
Funko Toys to Become Animated Movie at Warner Bros
Netflix Lands ‘Seinfeld’ Streaming Rights Starting in 2021
Mean, moody, or a mope? If Boris is the Hulk, which Hulk is he?
Netflix co-founder: 'Blockbuster laughed at us … Now there's one left'
Yemen rebels threaten new attacks on Saudi oil sites
Warren Goes After Trump’s Sister in Anti-Corruption Push
ICC prosecutor appeals acquittal of I.Coast's Gbagbo
Spain won't extradite Venezuela's ex-spymaster to US
Almost 50,000 GM workers on strike, auto-maker shares slide
Biden on racism: White people 'can never fully understand'
Inside the US military's $223 million 'doomsday plane,' capable of surviving a nuclear blast
Gay Softball League Leads to Major Supreme Court Job-Bias Case
Iran says it will adopt maximum crude output policy if U.S. lifts sanctions
Rod Stewart given all-clear following secret cancer treatment
McCabe v Prince Abdullah: how battle for control of Sheffield United unfolded
Manchester City and the perils of playing out from the back – Football Weekly
County cricket: Hampshire v Somerset, Essex v Surrey and more – as it happened
Ben Roethlisberger's NFL season over with Drew Brees set to miss six weeks
Nike's 'Dream Crazy' advert starring Colin Kaepernick wins Emmy
PSG fans don't want to hear it, but Neymar is their best route to success
The Fiver | Norwich hoisting Pep Guardiola and his men by their own petard
UK Blames Luxembourg For Boris Johnson Press Conference Debacle
Universities' Lack Of Mental Health Care 'Intolerable' Says Former Minister
It's Official: People Have Started Their Christmas Shopping Already
The Health Problems You May Be Able To Treat Without Visiting A GP
Prince Harry And Prince William Send Support To ‘Legend’ Gareth Thomas After He Is Forced To Go Public With His HIV Status
Nursery 'Settle In' Times Are A Right Pain In The A***
Indian authorities step up rescue effort for 20 tourists missing after boat capsize
Big global climate protests on Friday get union support
Subterranean blaze: Indonesia struggles to douse underground fires
Omar Responds to Family of 9/11 Victim Who Criticized Her
New Warren Plan Would Build a Wall Between Lobbyists and Policy
James Murdoch: 'There are views I really disagree with' on Fox News
Close