What would happen if we boycotted dating apps ? Tinder has been on the market for more than ten years, and many apps are approaching a similar milestone . For dating app users, it’s been a decade of ghosting, bailing, catfishing, deleting and re-installing. For tech execs, it’s become a multi-billion-dollar industry. The apps have created a self-fulfilling prophecy for single people: we believe everyone is on the apps, so we have to be, too. How else could we meet someone in this day and age? And what’s wrong with us if we aren’t trying to meet someone? It’s all very convenient for shareholders. In “How to Break Up With Your Phone”, author Catherine Price describes dating apps as “junk food” and she recommends deleting them. It isn’t so easy. These apps were inspired by slot machines. You can open the app 50 times a day, only to see a pleasing notification on the 51 st try. But I’ve seen a shift recently: a rise of “IRL” dating events, and more and more people deleting their apps as they recognise the negative effects on their mental health. Instead of listening to yet another podcast about how to “navigate the world of modern dating”, I’d like to propose an alternative solution. How about we go on strike instead? I suggest Sunday 7 July. Apparently, the busiest day for dating apps is the first Sunday in January , and six months later is enough time for users to become fully disillusioned. In the same way that Icelandic
Women refused to go to work for one day in October 1975 and almost brought the
economy to its knees, a mass exodus of women (and men) from the dating apps would be disastrous for shareholders. Action is already starting to happen. Match Group (the parent company of apps such as Tinder and Hinge) is being sued in the US, with the plaintiffs claiming the company encourages compulsive behaviours. The lawyers wrote “[…] Match intentionally designs the platforms with addictive, game-like design features, which lock users into a perpetually pay-to-play loop that prioritises corporate profits over its marketing promises and customers’ relationship goals.” Match Group has denied the allegations. But when the news was reported in February, the company’s share price had already fallen 17 per cent in the past year. It makes sense to focus on the tech companies behind these apps as the silent co-conspirators in our cycle of hope and misery. In my view, they know what they’re doing can be harmful. Execs in Silicon Valley have long spoken out about the dangers of
Social Media, and claimed they wouldn’t allow access for their own children. We also know that dating app algorithms are designed by men, and a small percentage of (white) users claim the most matches. It is also not a women-friendly space, on the app or behind the scenes. Tinder’s first female CEO, Renate Nyborg, claimed in various interviews that she met her husband on the first day of using the app. She then left the platform after less than a year in the
Job as part of a “management reshuffle” – now she claims she is using technology to combat loneliness. The role at Tinder was left vacant for a year and a half, and now its second female CEO, Faye Iosotaluno, recently said : “I envision a product that really thinks about, what are your best interests at heart?” In the meantime, should we be using products that don’t currently have our best interests at heart? Read Next My seven years on dating apps has been a cesspit of bots, scammers and weirdos Feminists and academics including Nancy Jo Sales, Laura Bates and Katherine Angel have all spoken about the danger of app culture and the spectrum of abusive behaviour the apps can facilitate, from catfishing and lovebombing to rape and assault. We know from statistics in Sales’ book that many people on dating apps are already in relationships, or just looking for an ego boost. The algorithms are also funnelling us down one narrow avenue in terms of who we believe we are (or should be) attracted to, and we could miss out on the fullness of human experience. So, no, we don’t need to “take a break” or “detox” from the apps. Let’s go on strike instead. On Sunday 7 July, let’s take away the access to women that original Tinder founders promised to the frat boys in the US in 2012. Let’s show how fragile the share prices of these companies are when their most valuable assets – their users – don’t like, message or swipe for a day. Let’s force these tech companies to change, and to take some accountability. It would also give us space to re-consider how we interact with each other on these platforms and whose pockets we are benefiting with our data. I look forward to standing at the picket line, flying my “let’s meet IRL” banner. After all, Hinge’s slogan is “designed to be deleted”. I suggest we take them up on that offer.