"Guys, we are just one week away from
election Day,"
Jimmy Fallon said on Tuesday's
Tonight Show. "I can't believe it's that soon — I mean, it feels like the last four years have just really flown by." Actually, "seven days is still a lot of time: If you get in line to vote now, there's a really good chance you'll make it to the front by Nov. 3," he joked. "Over 65 million have already voted, and thanks to the
Supreme Court, almost three million of those will be counted."
President Trump and
Joe Biden are flying around the country, but especially Trump. "Usually the only people who travel this much are salesmen and fugitives," Fallon said. "I'm not sure Trump's rallies are really moving the needle. It's hard to convince voters you deserve a second term when your speech has 42 mentions of the word 'plague.'"
Yes, "the biggest news in the election is the
Coronavirus, and things are only getting plague-ier,"
Stephen Colbert said on The
Late Show. Things are especially dire in swing states, where Trump's COVID-19 approval ratings are slipping and people are mad about "his super-spreader rallies," he added. "Apparently, voters are not responding to his campaign's closing message: Let the maskless man spit on you!" He cut together Biden and Trump making their very different "closing arguments to the
American voters."
With a week until voting ends, "I feel like I'm waiting for the results of a biopsy right now — that's the mood I'm in,"
Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "Donald Trump's doing his best to keep the COVID going. He had three rallies today, he's got two more tomorrow, despite the fact that at his rallies in Minnesota last month, each one of those rallies was the site of a virus outbreak," state officials determined. "I remember the good old days when the only disease we worried about
Donald Trump spreading was syphilis," he joked. But at least former President Barak Obama, stumping for Biden, "seems to be having fun with this"
"Often on this show, we mock Donald Trump for going off the rails while speaking, but Obama proved today it can happen to the best of us,"
James Corden said at The
Late Late Show. Except his entire band got the Popeye reference that went over Corden's head, and you can watch that — plus a pretty solid Trump-Amish joke — below.