It’s 31 October, aka
Brexit Day and it’s absolute carnage out there.
Toddlers are looting Tesco stores...At my local Tesco and a toddler was having a tantrum - it wasn’t about sweets, he was shouting he wanted his sovereignty back NOW but those nasty Remainers had conspired against the will of the people.The whole store cheered him, then we looted the place. #BritainHasExploded— Clarence Oveur (@CapnOveur) October 31, 2019Tea supplies are at critical levels...Oh sweet Jesus, it’s happening #Britainhasexplodedpic.twitter.com/lq4yWnWSrp— Richard May (@Richiemay) October 31, 2019And at the coast near
Liverpool, some have simply had enough...There are people literally getting in the sea near Liverpool. #BritainHasExplodedpic.twitter.com/V4vrMwtbNN— Howie Gosling (@Howgozza) October 31, 2019Only jesting, everything is pretty much normal – well, as normal as things can be in 2019.
And yes, it is
Halloween and the
UK is still in the EU despite the best efforts of
Boris Johnson (more on him later).
So what better time to hark back to some of the promises and predictions made by some notable figures about what would happen today.1) Tea, Farage and NipplesThis quintessentially Brexit
Britain and utterly horrifying combo was promised to us by disgraced former columnist Katie Hopkins, who earlier this month caused a pre-winter chill to spread across the nation with the following tweet.We are out on 31 Oct. If I am proved wrong I will drink a pot of tea naked in the Apprentice losers cafe with Farages face on each nipple. https://t.co/dMR9MJjADT— Katie Hopkins (@KTHopkins) October 4, 2019Now it is only around midday but so far there has been no sign of said Brex-rated sight and Hopkins is currently tweeting about female MPs being “embarrassing”.
UPDATE: Oh no, it might be happening.Thanks for this Boris #BrexitDaypic.twitter.com/p6o0sFAFkE— Katie Hopkins (@KTHopkins) October 31, 20192) Mark Francois’ ApocalypseMark Francois bloody loves Brexit and has been all over the TV this month explaining just why he is so keen.
You may remember him telling Sky News that he wants to “to live in a free country, that elects its own government, and makes its own laws, and then lives under those laws in peace” despite being a freely elected politician living peacefully in a country that makes its own laws.And last month he made a very bold prediction about what would happen in Brexit didn’t happen as planned – the entire country would “explode”.Drawing on skills learned as a hero of World War 2, Mark Francois has planted high explosives under the whole of the UK and now issues the following threat: pic.twitter.com/hk9D8jQku9— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) September 17, 2019At the time of writing, HuffPost UK’s day is yet to be interrupted by flames, concussion waves or any other physical phenomenon normally associated with death by explosion.Can someone please tell me what time Mark Francois is going to explode today, I’d hate to miss it.#BrexitDay#DieInADitchDaypic.twitter.com/Mg2pon2HW6— 🚀MΛG!D (@MagicMagid) October 31, 20193) The DitchAnd we end with the biggie – Boris Johnson’s much-vaunted declaration that he would rather be “dead in a ditch” than ask the EU for a Brexit extension.Gonna be kind of amazing when, by the end of the day, Boris Johnson can add "failing to die in a ditch" to his already gigantic list of things he couldn't achieve. HE CAN'T EVEN DIE IN A DITCH. Badgers manage it.— Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) October 31, 2019But not dead. pic.twitter.com/cY8vObT4aP— Hugo Rifkind (@hugorifkind) October 31, 2019Stay tuned for updates on these three scenarios, unless of course Francois turns out to be right in which case good luck to all the survivors who will, ironically, probably have to move to the EU.Related... All The MPs Who Are Standing Down At The General Election As Parliament Faces Exodus Boris Johnson's Rather Eventful And Slightly Controversial First 100 Days – In Numbers