October 15, 2019

Jimmy Kimmel and The Daily Show chart Trumps impeachment meltdown, global chaos generation
"The impeachment train is picking up steam," Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday's Kimmel Live, running through the various depositions House impeachment investigators have conducted in President Trump's Ukraine scandal and catching up on the legal woes of Trump's lawyer Rudy Giuliani. "Make no mistake, the president is melting down like a creamsicle in July," Kimmel said. "He's threatening to sue Nancy Pelosi and Adam Schiff — which you can't do, and not only that, who's he going to get to sue them? All his lawyers are either in jail or going there soon.""With this and the impeachment and Turkey and Syria and all manner of hell breaking loose," Trump is urging followers to vote for Sean Spicer on Dancing With the Stars, Kimmel said. "And that might be his greatest abuse of power yet."
Trump has "shaken Washington to its core by refusing to recognize the power of Congress to impeach him," Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. "The question is: Why does the president think he can get away with this?" Neal Brennan had an answer: "Trump doesn't think he got elected; Trump thinks he bought America." When Noah protested, Brennan countered: "Dude, he tried to buy Greenland eight weeks ago" His supporting evidence was kind of persuasive.
"In a normal administration, an impeachment inquiry would be enough drama on its own, but the Trump presidency is like a Black Friday sale happening at the Fyre Festival," Noah said: "Pure chaos!"Trump faced near-universal condemnation for unilaterally pulling U.S. troops back from Kurdish-held areas of Syria, and now "the thing everyone warned Trump would happen is happening," Noah said. "Turkey invading, Kurds fleeing, ISIS escaping? Like, the Middle East was already a geopolitical Jenga tower, with everyone trying to figure out the right move. And then Donald Trump comes in, he's like, 'What if we move the whole table?'" And while Trump says he's just bringing U.S. troops home, he's actually just shifting them to Saudi Arabia — for cash, Trump bragged. "He is right, that is a first," Noah said. "I don't think America has ever rented out its military before." Watch below.

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