People seem to have real issues with talking about what’s between little girls’ legs – and a pair of new books are the latest example of body parts being shrouded in mystery.
Journalist Rosemary Bennett was sent two books about children’s bodies. While the one about boys has the definitive statement ‘THAT’S MY WILLY’ as a title, the one about girls is the more puzzled, euphemistic ‘WHAT’S DOWN THERE?’
The books both uses the real term between the pages, and emphasises the importance of being able to talk about bodies and specific body parts properly.Related... Vagina! Why Was I Hauled Into Nursery When My Daughter Used That Word? In publicity material, the publishers make it clear that they are in favour of the correct terminonlogy being used, citing a statistic from the Eve Appeal charity that says 44% of parents use euphemistic terms like ‘front bottom’ and ‘fairy’ for their daughters’ genitals, with 19% using ‘vagina’ and just 1% saying ‘vulva’. Girls’ genitals considered so mysterious they don’t even have a name in these new books pic.twitter.com/kNb0EgoVp1— Rosemary Bennett (@RosieDBennett) October 21, 2019It’s a shame, then, that the book uses one of the least informative ways possible to refer to female genitalia in its title, ‘down there’, while the book about boys’ bodies gets ‘willy’ right there on the cover in massive block capitals.
Part of it might be that there’s no vaginal equivalent of ‘willy’ in the English language – a friendly, childlike, non-clinical term for the penis. But why is that?And anyway, do we need to give children’s genitals cutesy nicknames? Can’t we just call them what they are – penises and vulvas?
You’ll sometimes see a raised eyebrow or a pained-looking grandparent when using a term like ‘vulva’, but that’s their problem. It’s not swearing, it’s the name of a body part. And it’s a body part you need to be able to talk about.
Kids’ vulvas require cleaning and checking, and toddlers are particularly prone to things like urinary tract infections when they start using grown-up toilets.
However, Eve Appeal’s study found 22% of parents avoid referring to their daughters’ genitals at all, and a third said anatomical terms should only be used when their daughter is 11 or older. These aren’t rude words. They’re accurate anatomical words, and the more they’re used, the better. Related... 73% Of
Women Still Confused About What A Vulva Is – So Here's The Diagram You Need If we refuse to use the correct language, what are we teaching our children? That those areas are shameful? Open communication and conversation about bodies is especially beneficial in cases of abuse. Research has shown that children are much more likely to report being molested or touched inappropriately if they can talk freely about their bodies rather than feeling certain parts can’t be discussed.
Everyone, surely, wants their child to grow up confident in their bodies, aware of them and able to both look after them and enjoy them. Using the correct language from the get-go encourages that.
These books seem like they’re well-intentioned and informative, but why, oh why couldn’t the girls one be called ‘BEHOLD, MY VULVA!’? We all love our children and want the best for them – and we’re not helping them in any way by mystifying what’s in their underpants.
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UK has contacted the publishers of the book for further comment and will update this piece with its response. Related... 'Everyone Has Bums': 7-Year-Old's Brilliantly Simple Take on Gender 9 Ways To Teach Young Boys To Be Feminists I Had To Talk To My Daughter About Porn. She's 7