August 12, 2019

Trevor Noah argues that Jeffrey Epsteins death suggests the lack of a conspiracy, finally
"Pedophile and fake billionaire Jeffrey Epstein was found dead in his jail cell after he apparently committed suicide on Saturday morning — which, if you ask me, is some bulls--t," Trevor Noah said on Monday's Daily Show. "I wanted Jeffrey Epstein to stay alive for two reasons: One, so that his victims could get their day in court, and two, I wanted him to snitch on all his high-profile pedophile friends. Now he's dead!" "We already had questions about whole pedophile operation; now we have additional questions about how he died," Noah said. "They weren't checking in on Epstein and they took him off suicide watch. Why?" Because Epstein's circle "included some high-profile individuals, everyone from Bill Clinton and Donald Trump all the way to famous scientists and even royalty," he added, "many out there are wondering if Epstein really suicided himself." Noah said it's "pretty wild" that the president of the United States is getting in on the conspiracy mongering, but "it's not just Trump. It seems like everybody thinks that something shady happened here. People on the right are saying it was the Clintons who killed Jeffrey, people on the left are saying Trump killed him, Jussie Smollett says it was two white Nigerian guys. And I don't know, guys. I'm not a conspiracy theorists but something weird happened here." His theory: America did it. "Thanks to overworked staff and underfunded prisons, suicide among inmates is all too common in the United States," he said. "I get why everybody's suspicious of how this all went down ... but to be honest, I'm also not sure that there's a conspiracy here. If anything, for me the conspiracy has been taking place over the last 10 years," starting with Epstein's mysterious sweetheart plea deal in Florida. "And maybe," he said, "just maybe, what happened here is the result of there not being a conspiracy anymore and Epstein being treated, for the first time, just like everyone else." Watch below.

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