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![The Fiver | Scotland are flying to the metaphorical moon thanks to Lyndon Dykes](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/3ece0212466b681d0e2c3ee1a6d73aef73e6aae2/0_319_4782_2869/master/4782.jpg?width=1200&height=630&quality=85&auto=format&fit=crop&overlay-align=bottom%2Cleft&overlay-width=100p&overlay-base64=L2ltZy9zdGF0aWMvb3ZlcmxheXMvdGctZGVmYXVsdC5wbmc&enable=upscale&s=d9dc4439696f6de4aad5033f50b05d4c)
The Fiver’s Scottish cousin, Shortbread McFiver, isn’t answering calls at the moment, which is very out of character for him. We called him a lucky bampot, a spawny bawbag and a jammy wee lavvy heid, but we didn’t hear a peep back from the uncommunicative roaster. When Shortbread McFiver eschews a bout of sweary fitba banter, it’s time to worry.