Following West Ham around the country again will mean remembering the old rituals and when it pays to keep quiet
Football’s coming home – and away. After a year and a half of TV games with piped fan noise and the only swearing from the suddenly audible players, the frisson of real away travel is here. Soon will come the excitement of seeing the floodlights of a strange town as you arrive on the train and the despairing chants when your side go 6-0 down with 20 minutes left of: “You’re nothing special, we lose every week!”
Old rituals will have to be remembered. The dress code for an away day is always difficult. Colours under a concealing jacket, perhaps? A long coat marks you out as a soft southerner, a furry parka or cap as an Essex Man. Something blander to blend in is best. Big pockets are useful to conceal anything intellectual such as books. Accessories are important, too. My pal Big Joe once took a copy of Granta and an umbrella to Sunderland, making me wonder if we’d ever get out alive.