March 20, 2020

Late night hosts practice social distancing with dark humor, celebrity video-chats, self-quarantine tips
"So what's the latest on coronavirus?" Trevor Noah asked on Thursday's from-home Daily Show. "Well, President Trump says they found a treatment, governors are taking action, and spring break is getting canceled." He started with Trump, "the one man we're all forced to listen to during this crisis, and every day he reminds us why hiring him was America's biggest mistake." Noah showed some of Trump's press conference and urged Trump to "just let the scientists and the doctors talk. Trump should just stand in the back like a hype man." He demonstrated.Noah found it especially "embarrassing" that the FDA commissioner had to correct Trump, to his face, after Trump incorrectly claimed the FDA had approved a coronavirus treatment. "If I could cover my face with my hands, I would," he joked. But luckily "while America's dealing with its incompetent-in-chief, many of America's governors have started to take matters into their own hands."
While Noah looked at things New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) actually did, Full Frontal's Samantha Bee crowned him "America's Dad."
Bee also had some advice for surviving the pandemic with your marriage intact, from her woodshed.
"I just want to be out of this house before Blue Ivy graduates medical school, but the good news is our president has it all under control," Jimmy Kimmel deadpanned from his house. "Our fearless misleader" is "really going all-in with this 'Chinese virus' nonsense," he said. "Even his speechwriter was like, 'I'm not writing that. You want it? You change it yourself.' Somebody needs to take his Sharpie away." Kimmel agreed with Noah that Trump should "just shut up already and let the doctors take over," but he also mocked the college kids spring-breaking in Florida."Just because we're stuck at home doesn't mean we can't visit with friends — virtually," Kimmel said. He dialed up Julia Louis-Dreyfus to see how she's dealing with social distancing.
The Tonight Show's Jimmy Fallon video-chatted with Jennifer Garner — her parents still want to go to Sam's Club, too. Fallon did his monologue from his front porch, with a laugh machine. "Today was the first day of spring — now Americans get to play a fun game: allergies or coronavirus?" he joked. He read some #MyQuarantineInSixWords tweets, set up his first tent in his backyard, and got Garner to play the sax. Watch below.

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