"There are now over 600 cases of coronavirus in the
United States,"
Stephen Colbert said on Monday's Late Show.
Italy has shut down entirely, and "Wall Street S&Peed its pants." with the Dow suffering its "largest single point drop in history.""This is the first crisis of Trump's presidency that he did not cause himself, and he is shanking it," Colbert said. "Trump spent the weekend golfing" and continues to post callous tweets, "but when he hunkers down focuses on the problem, that's when he really sucks." He recapped Trump's trip Friday to the CDC, shaking his head at Trump's assertion he surprises doctors with his deep understanding of the virus, crediting his "natural ability" to his "super genius" Uncle John. "Epidemiology is not genetic!" Colbert said. "Knowledge does not get passed down in the family — that's why, no matter how much we all know it now, future generations are going to have to learn for themselves that you're an idiot."
Yeah, "I'm not sure that Trump has 'a natural ability' for science, especially considering he thinks scientific knowledge can be passed down through his uncle,"
Trevor Noah marveled at The Daily Show. And really, "Trump can't afford to be uninformed about corona — not just because he's president, but because as an older man who's not in great shape and spends his time touching strangers, he's definitely at risk."
"The president publicly seems determined to keep shaking hands," but reportedly, he's "privately terrified about getting the virus" and "thinks journalists will purposefully contract coronavirus to give it to him on Air Force One,"
Jimmy Kimmel said on Kimmel Live. "That doesn't seem paranoid at all." People are canceling major events, "selling off stocks, and buying up toilet paper," and freakily, "Costco is pulling their free samples," he said. "Trump needs to send
Mike Pence to Costco to figure this out, right now!"
"We are now seeing what it's like when a lifelong scam artist is in charge of responding to a public health crisis,"
Seth Meyers said at Late Night. Trump told CDC experts he's getting his coronavirus information from
Fox News, "public health officials are worried about making him angry by telling the truth," and "Trump appointees keep going out of their way to compliment him."
Conan O'Brien had a a PSA about fighting misinformation.
At The
Late Show, the coronavirus took a victory lap.