Reverend Richard Coles has spoken candidly about how he is struggling to come to terms with the death of his partner, admitting he feels like his future is “blank”.
In December, the former Strictly Come Dancing contestant lost his civil partner, Rev David Coles, after he died at the age of 43 following a long illness.In a new interview with the Guardian, the Rev heartbreakingly detailed how he is finding it difficult adjusting to life without David.
“I got in the other night,” he said, “and fed the dogs and lit a
fire and cooked some supper. I got into my pyjamas and had a nightcap. I then looked at my watch and it was 10 past six.
“I’ve had to subtract David from the future and that has taken all the future with it. It’s a bit blank. I think: ’What the fuck am I going to do? Play the accordion and go to bed at 10 past six, I guess. Of course, it’s not the end of my life. But it feels like it’s over sometimes.”
The celebrity vicar entered into a civil partnership with David after the Church of
England allowed the ceremonies in 2005.
He and David lived together with their dogs – dachshunds Daisy, Pongo, Audrey and Horatio – in the vicarage of St Mary’s in Finedon, Northamptonshire.
Richard often spoke with love about David and their life together, particularly on his Radio 4 show Saturday Live and during his appearances on Radio 2.Last month, former Communards musician Richard revealed he received a posthumous Valentine’s Day card from his late partner.
Appearing on the Radio 2 Breakfast Show to present Pause For Thought segment, Richard told host Zoe Ball that he had been surprised to receive the card.
He said: “With remarkable foresight he arranged for me a Valentine’s card before he departed, and I’m very touched and grateful. And a bit surprised, because in widowhood you think your days of wine and roses are done. Not so.”
Following David’s death, Richard was forced to contact the
police after receiving hate mail.
He tweeted at the time: “Police called this evening, sympathetic and professional, and my hateful correspondence is now evidence.”
He said that the “horrible letters: they don’t touch me”, tweeting: “I am right now an expert in pain, the real kind, and these are paper darts among the incoming, and just leave me mildly curious about the state of mind of the writer.”
Useful websites and helplines:Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI - this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill.)The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email: help@themix.org.ukRethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0300 5000 927 (open Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on www.rethink.org.