December 19, 2019
Today’s tittle-tattle is sweating the small stuff
Football transfer rumours: Lautaro Martínez to Manchester City?
Boxing Day, beers and black eyes – football’s festive period is rich in tradition. And this year’s iteration is now well under way, with Manchester United pretending that they’re going to buy players in January. Most particularly, they hope to finally replace the velveteen first touch, subtle finishing and stylistic flourishes of Romelu Lukaku with those of Erling Braut Haaland, who intends to leave Unnamed Energy Drink Salzburg. And United are also seeking to sign a defensive midfielder – though may settle for a midfieldive defender in Declan Rice.
A couple of players may also leave Old Trafford. Ashley Young, who has now been at United for more than eight years (!) is entertaining thoughts of a move after losing his place in the team. As a reward for his service, the club will not stand in the way of any buyer seeking a player able to feint outside, chug inside, and then effortlessly paste a cross past miles past the back post. Also thinking about leaving is Nemanja Matic, with Milan mooted as a possible destination - but there are doubts about his ability to walk from passport control to the taxi rank in the time during which the transfer widow is open.
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