December 03, 2019
It was empowering to watch Kath, a survivor of child sexual abuse, be heard, believed and validated on Channel 4’s The Family Secret. From the opening credits of Tuesday’s programme, Kath was in control of her own story, and in control of her quest for restorative justice. 
I Survived Intrafamilial Sexual Abuse. Here’s Why Shows Like The Family Secret Matter
In the show, Kath told her story of being sexually abused by her brother Rob from the ages of seven to 11. She’s not alone – most child Sexual Abuse happens within the family, the old maxim that “an Englishman’s home is his castle” meaning perpetrators can act with impunity behind closed doors. 
I should know. Just like Kath, I too was sexually abused at home by a family member.
When I first spoke out to teachers and social workers I wasn’t believed. I was effectively silenced for years. When Kath first suggested that Rob, also a child, had abused her, her mother simply didn’t want to believe it. Like me, Kath was silenced, and a wall went up. She didn’t want to break her mother’s heart and she kept his secret to keep her family together. Children do lie, and they cover things up – just not in the way society tells you they do. I often feel frustrated that children are forced into this situation, and seeing that Kath had also been forced to cover things up made me feel less alone.Facing the abuse is daunting. There is no social script dictating how a family will respond when the abuse comes out.Often it is easier for society to ignore abuse. Kath seemed to have a perfect family and after the abuse began life continued as normal for her brother. For Kath, a parallel world had opened up where her home wasn’t safe anymore. There were signs – Robert on the landing by Kath’s room, Kath crying in her bedroom – that with more education and understanding her parents could perhaps have spotted.
Facing the abuse is daunting. There is no social script dictating how a family will respond when the abuse comes out. In her thirties Kath disclosed the abuse and was believed and supported by her mum and another brother, but her parents’ relationship broke down. Her mother no longer trusts her own judgment. My family has also been torn apart by the abuse. It’s good to see the abuse finally confronted. However, I empathised with Kath, and seeing the pain her family went through made me wish coming forward was easier. 
The show reminds us that even when survivors do speak out, often they aren’t taken seriously. During the restorative justice process, Robert continually minimises, and tries to erase, his abusive past.  
In the documentary, Robert describes his abuse as “intimate”, and suggests it “only” went on for two-and-a-half years. Kath calls this out as rape, and says it went on for four years. She asks why he felt entitled to do what he did. Robert describes the excitement. To him, his sister was simply “a means to an end”. Hearing this took me right back to my childhood, where I felt worthless and degraded.There’s a culture of lies, secrecy and shame that allows child sexual abuse to go unchallenged. We must confront itNot everyone can get access to criminal or restorative justice. By the time some survivors are ready to come forward, their perpetrators may have died, or there may simply not be enough evidence to bring a case. I’m currently pursuing criminal injuries compensation and a criminal case.
That’s why the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse has been calling for an open, frank conversation about child sexual abuse. As portrayed in The Family Secret, there’s a culture of lies, secrecy and shame that allows child sexual abuse to go unchallenged. We must confront it.
The Inquiry established the Truth Project to provide a supportive and non-judgmental space where survivors can be heard and share their experience. So far, over 4,000 survivors – each with their stories like Kath and like me – have come forward to their experiences, which will in turn be used to help keep children safe in future. All survivors who come forward to the Truth Project are asked to put forward recommendations for change.If we keep talking, it will be harder for the abuse we have survived to be kept a secretThe Family Secret shows why it’s so important to keep talking. If a subject remains taboo, it will only ever be seen in the public consciousness as something shameful. Kath and I should not feel shame at having been sexually abused as children. We did nothing wrong.
If we keep talking, it will be harder for the abuse we have survived to be kept a secret, and vulnerable young people will be able to speak out safe in the knowledge they will be recognised, and they will see justice.
Chris Tuck is a survivor of child sexual abuse and a member of the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse’s Victims and Survivors Consultative Panel. 
The Family Secret airs Tuesday at 9pm on Channel 4, and is available on All 4Childline - free and confidential support for young people in the UK - 0800 1111More from HuffPost UK Personal How I'm Rebuilding My Relationship With Sex After Surviving Abuse My Mental Health Struggles Made Me A Better Dad My Insomnia Means I’m Afraid To Go To Bed
Related Stories
Latest News
Top news around the world
Academy Awards

‘Oppenheimer’ Reigns at Oscars With Seven Wins, Including Best Picture and Director

Get the latest news about the 2024 Oscars, including nominations, winners, predictions and red carpet fashion at 96th Academy Awards

Around the World

Politic
Mary Trump 'energized' as uncle 'Donald's campaign spirals into chaos'
Mar 29, 2024
Donald Trump's campaign is in chaos, and his niece says she's energized.Mary Trump, the niece of the former president and a psychologist by trade, has previously been critical of her uncle.On Thursday, she said her uncle's failures are adding up.ALSO READ: A neuroscientist reveals how Trump and Biden's cognitive impairments are different"As the RNC’s fundraising falters and Donald’s campaign spirals into chaos, I am energized!" she said in a Substack post.She then continued:"When Donald dominates the news cycle, it’s hard not to feel overwhelmed. Every bad headline has a negative impact. But then I remember something crucial: There’s usually more to the story than meets the eye. I’m determined to cut through the media noise and share with you all the good that happened this week. These are the headlines we need to remain energized and hopeful that the media largely ignored."Mary Trump goes on to highlight President Joe Biden's recent fundraising hauls."President Biden’s $155 million+ war chest has just received another turbo boost, bringing the total of cash on hand to at least $180 million. (By comparison, between his campaign and the RNC, Donald barely has over $50 million — and continues to drain the accounts to cover his absolutely staggering legal expenses)," she wrote. "This is a development that could significantly increase Biden’s ability to influence the narrative in crucial swing states."This, she says, also tells us a lot about voter excitement for Biden."While critics have expressed doubts about the degree to which the Democratic base is fired up as compared to 2020, today’s $25 million fundraiser, raised with donations ranging from $250 to $500,000, should put any doubts to rest — yes, we are absolutely behind President Biden and Vice President Harris and we’re in this fight until the end," she wrote.Read the full post here.
READ MORE
Celebrity News

> Latest News in Media

Watch It
Ruby Franke’s Husband REVEALS Alleged Rules He Had to Follow at Home | E! News
March 28, 2024
_mU-3lE2QwI
#KenanThompson speaks out following the #QuietonSet documentary. (🎥: Tamron Hall Show) #shorts
March 28, 2024
8AGP-Gfw_Ek
King Charles Shares "Great Sadness" at Missing Royal Appearance | E! News
March 28, 2024
lyizFqf1kQY
Martha Reeves Walk of Fame Ceremony
March 27, 2024
QzyezumEPtQ
Eminem, 50 Cent & Snoop Dogg Present Dr. Dre with a Star on the Walk of Fame
March 19, 2024
4bNLs1hxVp8
Opening Remarks for the Variety Summit October 20th, 2023 Jay Penske
March 18, 2024
c6Z707iLq8E
Montell Jordan Dishes On Young MC Wedding, 'This Is How Date Night' Plans | TMZ
March 28, 2024
G3SMExj-qio
Davina Potratz Says TV Not Helping 'Selling Sunset' Relationship Woes | TMZ
March 28, 2024
D4piy4GNm4k
Logan Paul Rips Graham Bensinger Over Documentary, You Promised Apple TV+ | TMZ Live
March 28, 2024
NiSDpZhZklQ
Prince William pinned royal medal to Spice Girl Mel B’s boobs #shorts
March 28, 2024
O1cQ0UW9pco
Jennifer Garner shares ‘hard’ part of raising her and Ben Affleck’s kids
March 28, 2024
3Q7mZaVUdgc
50 Cent's ex Daphne Joy named as an alleged sex worker in Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs lawsuit #shorts
March 28, 2024
yhLFI8DG9rM
TV Schedule
Late Night Show
Watch the latest shows of U.S. top comedians

Sports

Latest sport results, news, videos, interviews and comments
Latest Events
28
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Playoffs - Women
PSG W - Hacken W
28
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Playoffs - Women
Barcelona W - SK Brann W
27
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Playoffs - Women
Chelsea W - Ajax W
27
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Playoffs - Women
Lyon W - SL Benfica W
17
Mar
SPAIN: La Liga
Atletico Madrid - Barcelona
17
Mar
ENGLAND: FA Cup
Manchester United - Liverpool
17
Mar
ITALY: Serie A
Inter Milan - Napoli
17
Mar
GERMANY: Bundesliga
Borussia Dortmund - Eintracht Frankfurt
17
Mar
ENGLAND: FA Cup
Chelsea - Leicester City
17
Mar
ITALY: Serie A
Roma - Sassuolo
17
Mar
ITALY: Serie A
Verona - AC Milan
17
Mar
ITALY: Serie A
Juventus - Genoa
16
Mar
GERMANY: Bundesliga
Darmstadt - Bayern Munich
16
Mar
ENGLAND: FA Cup
Manchester City - Newcastle United
16
Mar
ENGLAND: Premier League
Fulham - Tottenham Hotspur
16
Mar
SPAIN: La Liga
Osasuna - Real Madrid
13
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: 1/8 Final
Atletico Madrid - Inter Milan
12
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: 1/8 Final
Barcelona - Napoli
12
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: 1/8 Final
Arsenal - Porto
Find us on Instagram
at @feedimo to stay up to date with the latest.
Featured Video You Might Like
zWJ3MxW_HWA L1eLanNeZKg i1XRgbyUtOo -g9Qziqbif8 0vmRhiLHE2U JFCZUoa6MYE UfN5PCF5EUo 2PV55f3-UAg W3y9zuI_F64 -7qCxIccihU pQ9gcOoH9R8 g5MRDEXRk4k
Copyright © 2020 Feedimo. All Rights Reserved.