"Can we take away Donald Trump's phone?"
Stephen Colbert asked on Monday's Late Show. The latest bad thing the president did on his phone is agree to withdraw U.S. troops from Kurdish-held northern
Syria after a call with
Turkish President
Recep Tayyip Erdogan, he said. "This is a complete betrayal of the Kurdish fighters who helped the U.S. defeat ISIS, and there's only one way out of this: Kurds, you've got 24 hours to dig up dirt on Joe Biden."Trump's decision brought swift condemnation from some of his most stalwart allies, Colbert said. "Look how uncomfortable the Fox &
Friends are. ... I can't believe Trump has lost Brian Kilmeade. That's like Timmy losing Lassie." In fact, "people on both sides of the aisle unloaded on Trump for this betrayal, so Trump went on
Twitter and went full twit," he said, pausing at Trump's "great and unmatched wisdom" line: "Wow, he's gone full god-emperor."Colbert ran through a number of new devolvements in the Trump impeachment investigation, deadpanning: "They're really starting to build a case that the president did the thing he has repeatedly admitted."
Yes, "the impeachment case against
Donald Trump has seen a number of big developments,"
Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. "A second whistleblower stepped forward, damning text messages from
American diplomats were released, and
Rudy Giuliani was caught going through Joe Biden's trash — yeah, he wasn't looking for dirt, he was just hungry." Instead of trying to put out those fires, though, Trump blindsided the
Pentagon and alienated his allies with his "insane" late-night policy reversal, he said, explaining why this is "a big deal.""Trump's surprise military move has now put the
Kurds at risk, and without the Kurds,
ISIS could make a comeback — and not in like a cool, small-part-in-a-Tarantino-movie kind of way," Noah said. "I do think there is one option" to get Trump to change his mind, though, he added: "Kurdish forces, you need to phone Trump and you need to tell him you have dirt on
Joe Biden, but if he wants it, he's gonna have to give you military aid — or as I like to call it, a Kurd pro quo." Watch below.