Late-night TV returned after a two-week break, and "of course the big story is
Hurricane Dorian,"
Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's Late Show. Dorian devastated the Bahamas and is now "hovering off the coast of the
United States — no one is sure if it is going to make landfall, or where, and by no one, I mean Donald Trump."Trump fired off 122 tweets over the weekend, and they "weren't overburdened with accuracy," like his repeated, insistent "weather fan fiction" about
Alabama being in harm's way, Colbert said. "You know things are bad when the National Weather Service has to fact-check the president." He also documented Trump's memory lapses about big hurricanes: "How have you never heard of a Category 5 hurricane, when there have been three Category 5 hurricanes while you've been president? And you know how I know that? From listening to you not know what they are. ... You have the memory of a goldfish, to go along with the skin tone."But not all of Trump's ideas about hurricanes were harmless. "So the most powerful man in the world wants to nuke the wind," Colbert sighed, explaining the problem with Trump's reported hurricane-prevention plan. "If you nuke a hurricane, you get a radioactive hurricane," he said. "It's like putting Chernobyl on jet skis."
The Daily Show's
Trevor Noah suggested that maybe "the barometric pressure from the storm did something to his brain" over the weekend. "I know we're used to it by now, but it still amazes me how often the government has to tell you not to pay attention to the president," he said, comparing Trump to a "drugged-up," hallucinating friend "you're driving home from a wisdom tooth surgery.""I know people get mad when they see Trump playing
golf as a hurricane is closing in, but after everything we've heard, I think the less involved Trump is with this hurricane, the better it is," Noah said, finding a silver lining. "Think about it: He doesn't know how big it is, he doesn't know where it's going, and he's got some batsh-t ideas for stopping it, so I say let the man play his golf. Because if we don't, there's a good chance Trump ends up nuking Alabama." Watch below.