"I have never been more grateful for the president's pettiness and stupidity,"
Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday's
Late Show, "because today he was stupidly petty enough to save us from a very smart warmonger," ousted National Security Adviser John Bolton.
President Trump "goes through staffers like a high 17-year-old goes through Little Debbie Swiss Rolls," he said.Even Bolton's departure was a mess, with Trump saying he'd fired him and Bolton insisting he'd resigned. Trump reportedly almost didn't hire Bolton because he didn't like his walrus-style mustache, Colbert said, but "ironically, while Bolton is leaving, his mustache is staying on as Stephen Miller's new hairpiece." Yes, there is a visual.
"No other president has lost as many Cabinet officials or senior advisers in their entire first term as Trump has in his first 30 months,"
Trevor Noah pointed out at The Daily Show. "It's a record, and now he's just running up the score." Bolton, whose bomb-everything foreign policy was too hawkish for Trump, is the third national security adviser Trump's ousted, another record. "Now, with Bolton gone, the question is who will be the next to leave? Nobody knows, but it was super weird today that when Trump fired Bolton, Melania tried to sneak out with him," Noah joked, showing the
first lady with a walrus mustache. "She was like, 'Oh, no, so sad to be fired, I'm also going.'"
"Trump's approval rating has taken a tumble" to 38 percent, "and that was before we found out he invited the
Taliban for dinner,"
Jimmy Kimmel said at Kimmel Live. "Trump, of course, lashed out at the polls, calling them 'fake' — everything he doesn't like is 'fake'; the only thing that's real to him is
Twitter and Arby's. And as Trump's ratings keep dropping, so does the number of people who work for him." Kimmel ran through Bolton's sloppy ouster, Trump's North Carolina rally, and
Donald Trump Jr.'s, stained, made-outside-American merch. Watch below.