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Date TimeSeptember 09, 2017
VoiceBride Always Dreamed About Making Fiancé’s Friends Sweat Asses Off In Fucking Sun

NASHVILLE, TN—Noting that the small detail was crucial for creating her ideal fairy-tale wedding, 30-year-old bride Anna Reed confirmed Thursday that she had always dreamed about making her fiancé’s friends sweat their goddamn asses off in the fucking sun. “Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve pictured a few of my future husband’s college buddies and maybe a coworker or two standing by his side in full three-piece tuxedos just sweating balls in the oppressive fucking heat as I walk down the aisle,” said Reed, adding that she always imagined the blistering August day when the squinting, grimacing groomsmen slowly succumbed to goddamn heatstroke while she took her sweet-ass time saying her vows. “Some people make a big fuss over their wedding, but I wanted a simple event where the red-faced, perspiration-drenched friends of the man I’ll be spending the rest of my life ...


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