September 21, 2018
The House With a Clock in Its Walls
The House With a Clock in Its Walls is not exactly time well spent
Starring Jack Black, Cate Blanchett, Kyle MacLachlan, Owen Vaccaro, Renée Elise Goldsberry, Sunny Suljic, Colleen Camp and Lorenza Izzo. Directed by Eli Roth. Opens Friday at GTA theatres. 104 minutes. PG
Eli Roth directing a children’s fantasy is a bit like the Marquis de Sade leading an Easter parade.
This is a filmmaker devoted to gore, so much so that his two Hostel movies led to the coining of the term “torture porn” for their visceral misery. Roth once vowed to always seek a “hard R” rating for his work, not being a man for half measures.
So it’s a curiosity, to say the least, to see him helming the PG-rated The House With a Clock in Its Walls, a film we might generously describe as horror-ish rather than horrific. It boasts delightful production design, including a house that may have been designed by the Addams Family, replete with sentient armchairs and flatulent topiary griffins. The movie, however, contains very few real scares and even less of a story.
Whatever was on Mr. Roth’s mind in choosing to adapt this 1973 story by author John Bellairs (Eric Kripke wrote the screenplay) may be entirely between the director, his studio (Universal) and their bankers. Franchise hopes of the Harry Potter kind may be afoot, since Bellairs’ story about an apprentice warlock ultimately became a series of 12 novels.
But this film is more of a tepid Goosebumps tale, not just because it stars that franchise’s Jack Black as bumbling warlock Jonathan Barnavelt. It’s strange enough to prompt a few childish shivers but not creepy enough to summon night terrors — although scenes of attacking hordes of leering jack-o’-lanterns may give the willies to very young children.
It’s 1955 and Barnavelt lives in fictional New Zebedee, Michigan, in a home that looks like a magician’s museum. He welcomes into his abode and under his dubious care his recently orphaned 10-year-old nephew Lewis (Owen Vaccaro). We can see that the timid Lewis is a little weird, because he insists on wearing bow ties and old-fashioned aviator goggles. He carries with him a dictionary in which he looks up words like “foreboding.”
Right next door is Mrs. Zimmerman (Cate Blanchett), a bantering good witch who comes on like Mary Poppins’ more aggressive sister and who has an affinity for purple not seen since the heyday of Prince. Her umbrella can produce everything from intoxicating purple smoke to machine-gun bullets, as occasion demands.
“What wrong with weird?” she proclaims to Lewis. “It’s the nuts that make things interesting!”
This may be enlightened thinking but, alas, the “nuts” of this movie aren’t so fascinating. They include Twin Peaks’ Kyle MacLachlan as Isaac Izard, an evil wizard and former pal of Barnavelt’s, who is carelessly summoned from the grave in a childish stunt gone wrong.
MacLachlan looks less like a villain and more like Scrooge’s hapless partner Jacob Marley, who wandered in from a production of A Christmas Carol. But Isaac does have a very sleek spouse in Selena, played by Renée Elise Goldsberry (TV’s The Good Wife).
Isaac and Selena plan to use the titular magical clock inside Barnavelt’s home to stop time and rid the Earth of all humans, or something like that. Seems they’re environmentalists who have taken things to extremes.
Everyone hits their marks, with more efficiency than charm. The visuals are delightful to behold, especially the New Zebedee town square dressed up like Back to the Future, also set in 1955.
The town’s movie theatre, incidentally, is showing a feature called Space Man From Pluto, which a learned friend tells me was the original title of Back to the Future. It made me wish I’d been watching that picture instead of this one.
Latest News
Top news around the world
Academy Awards

‘Oppenheimer’ Reigns at Oscars With Seven Wins, Including Best Picture and Director

Get the latest news about the 2024 Oscars, including nominations, winners, predictions and red carpet fashion at 96th Academy Awards

Around the World

Celebrity News

> Latest News in Media

Watch It
Ruby Franke’s Husband REVEALS Alleged Rules He Had to Follow at Home | E! News
March 28, 2024
_mU-3lE2QwI
#KenanThompson speaks out following the #QuietonSet documentary. (🎥: Tamron Hall Show) #shorts
March 28, 2024
8AGP-Gfw_Ek
King Charles Shares "Great Sadness" at Missing Royal Appearance | E! News
March 28, 2024
lyizFqf1kQY
Martha Reeves Walk of Fame Ceremony
March 27, 2024
QzyezumEPtQ
Eminem, 50 Cent & Snoop Dogg Present Dr. Dre with a Star on the Walk of Fame
March 19, 2024
4bNLs1hxVp8
Opening Remarks for the Variety Summit October 20th, 2023 Jay Penske
March 18, 2024
c6Z707iLq8E
Montell Jordan Dishes On Young MC Wedding, 'This Is How Date Night' Plans | TMZ
March 28, 2024
G3SMExj-qio
Davina Potratz Says TV Not Helping 'Selling Sunset' Relationship Woes | TMZ
March 28, 2024
D4piy4GNm4k
Logan Paul Rips Graham Bensinger Over Documentary, You Promised Apple TV+ | TMZ Live
March 28, 2024
NiSDpZhZklQ
Prince William pinned royal medal to Spice Girl Mel B’s boobs #shorts
March 28, 2024
O1cQ0UW9pco
Jennifer Garner shares ‘hard’ part of raising her and Ben Affleck’s kids
March 28, 2024
3Q7mZaVUdgc
50 Cent's ex Daphne Joy named as an alleged sex worker in Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs lawsuit #shorts
March 28, 2024
yhLFI8DG9rM
TV Schedule
Late Night Show
Watch the latest shows of U.S. top comedians

Sports

Latest sport results, news, videos, interviews and comments
Latest Events
28
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Playoffs - Women
PSG W - Hacken W
28
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Playoffs - Women
Barcelona W - SK Brann W
27
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Playoffs - Women
Chelsea W - Ajax W
27
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Playoffs - Women
Lyon W - SL Benfica W
17
Mar
SPAIN: La Liga
Atletico Madrid - Barcelona
17
Mar
ENGLAND: FA Cup
Manchester United - Liverpool
17
Mar
ITALY: Serie A
Inter Milan - Napoli
17
Mar
GERMANY: Bundesliga
Borussia Dortmund - Eintracht Frankfurt
17
Mar
ENGLAND: FA Cup
Chelsea - Leicester City
17
Mar
ITALY: Serie A
Roma - Sassuolo
17
Mar
ITALY: Serie A
Verona - AC Milan
17
Mar
ITALY: Serie A
Juventus - Genoa
16
Mar
GERMANY: Bundesliga
Darmstadt - Bayern Munich
16
Mar
ENGLAND: FA Cup
Manchester City - Newcastle United
16
Mar
ENGLAND: Premier League
Fulham - Tottenham Hotspur
16
Mar
SPAIN: La Liga
Osasuna - Real Madrid
13
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: 1/8 Final
Atletico Madrid - Inter Milan
12
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: 1/8 Final
Barcelona - Napoli
12
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: 1/8 Final
Arsenal - Porto
Find us on Instagram
at @feedimo to stay up to date with the latest.
Featured Video You Might Like
zWJ3MxW_HWA L1eLanNeZKg i1XRgbyUtOo -g9Qziqbif8 0vmRhiLHE2U JFCZUoa6MYE UfN5PCF5EUo 2PV55f3-UAg W3y9zuI_F64 -7qCxIccihU pQ9gcOoH9R8 g5MRDEXRk4k
Copyright © 2020 Feedimo. All Rights Reserved.