August 16, 2018
AS Madonna, the Queen of Pop, celebrates her milestone birthday today, a new book charts her evolution from sexual provocateur to doting mother.
Madonna at 60: Why the Queen of Pop has never been happier
Through two turbulent marriages and a string of toy-boy romances, pop icon Madonna has clung desperately to her image as an unbridled sex goddess.
But as she faces the shattering reality of turning 60 today Madonna has finally realised that sex must take a back seat to motherhood.
“Sex is still important to Madonna but her priority now is her children,” says bestselling biographer J Randy Taraborrelli.
“She may have the occasional fling with the odd 20-something guy but her children are the most important thing in her life now – even more than career.”
Madonna’s troubled journey from sexual provocateur to single mother has transformed her into the person she spent her entire career rebelling against: her own parents, says Taraborrelli, who has updated his classic 2001 Madonna biography to mark the start of her seventh decade.
Says the author: “She’s completely devoted to her kids.
“It used to be that her career came before everything, even her relationships.
“Now she’s turned into her father and is being the mother she never had, since her own mother died of cancer when Madonna was just five years old.”
Fans of the iconoclastic pop rebel may be shocked to learn that Madonna is a strict mother who keeps a tight leash on her children: Lourdes, aged 21, Rocco, 18, and her four children adopted from Malawi, David and Mercy, both 12, and twins Stella and Esther, aged five.
“Madonna’s a very strict disciplinarian,” says Taraborrelli.
“There was a time she wouldn’t let Lourdes eat chocolate and times when she’s put her children on her macrobiotic diet. If Lourdes didn’t clean up her room she couldn’t use her phone. Madonna takes away the kids’ electronic games and devices if they don’t behave.
“She doesn’t allow any screens at the dinner table.
Madonna at 60: Why the Queen of Pop has never been happier
“She’s always wanted to be the mother for her children that she never had herself and always felt something was missing from her life because her mum wasn’t there to raise her.”
Madonna Louise Ciccone’s disciplinary streak, reminiscent of the Catholic nuns of her schooldays, was a factor in the break-up of her eight-year marriage to British film director Guy Ritchie 10 years ago.
“Guy was shocked at how strict a mother Madonna was,” says the author.
“He expected the pop rebel to be an easy-going parent like him but instead she enforced strict rules.
“She might sing Papa Don’t Preach but if Lourdes announced she was pregnant Madonna would be bitterly disappointed in her. She’s extremely puritanical.
“There are times she must curse the day she ever made her sexually provocative book Sex. There are things in there she can’t want her children to see.”
Madonna’s tough love even drove a wedge between her and son Rocco, who in his early teens fought to live with his father Guy Ritchie rather than the pop queen. “Rocco wanted to be with his dad,” says Taraborrelli.
“He was unhappy with Madonna being away on tour. She took him on the road in the hope that they would bond but it drove them further apart.
Madonna at 60: Why the Queen of Pop has never been happier
“He was a teenager who wanted his mother but she was devoted to her work and it ended up driving Rocco to Guy. “It made her very unhappy. Madonna told friends how she desperately missed her son.”
Madonna had previously been married to actor Sean Penn and ploughed through a series of lovers including Warren Beatty, Vanilla Ice, John F Kennedy Jr, and even Michael Jackson before her wedding in 2000 to Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels director Ritchie.
“Yet that marriage failed as she put fame first.
“He wanted a partner but she was more dedicated to her career,” says Taraborrelli.
Madonna at 60: Why the Queen of Pop has never been happier
“When she’s working Madonna is driven and focused and it reached the point where Guy wasn’t supportive of that.
“He disapproved of her sexy image, her raunchy music videos and wanted her to age more gracefully. The divorce hit her hard.
“She didn’t even have a prenuptial agreement, so convinced was she that they’d last for life. That cost her a reported £60million – a fortune many of Madonna’s friends believed he didn’t deserve, having spent years being unsupportive, trying to get her to settle down.”
She plunged into a romance with 21-year-old model Jesus Luz, followed after two years by 23-year-old French dancer Brahim Zaibat – both 29 years Madonna’s junior.
Madonna at 60: Why the Queen of Pop has never been happier
“Madonna has gone through the same mid-life crisis as millions of others but she’s done it in full public view and it’s not easy ageing as a pop star, where the shelf life rarely extends beyond 40,” says the author.
She wanted the young men for sex of course. She feels guys her age are grumpy, fat and balding. But both men were surprisingly strong-willed, intelligent and independent, which is why she was attracted to them.
“Madonna would never go for a man who wasn’t able to stand up for himself.
“The problem was that eventually Madonna couldn’t stand being with a man who stood up for himself when it meant sometimes disagreeing with her.
“That’s why she may never find another long-lasting relationship again and will probably never marry again. She still enjoys sex but she can’t live with a weak-willed man and can’t endure living with a strong-willed man.”
When reminded of the vast age gap with one toy boy, Madonna gasped: “My God, it’s not like I’m Joan Collins.” Her young paramour’s mortifying response: “Um... who’s Joan Collins?”
Madonna is now back in the recording studio and planning yet another world tour, which will entail dragging her four youngest children across the globe with an entourage of nannies, maids and bodyguards, though Taraborrelli insists: “She’s a very hands-on mother.
“She’s made many sacrifices for the sake of her kids.
Madonna at 60: Why the Queen of Pop has never been happier
“Perhaps her tour will have fewer dates or be less arduous so she can spend more time with them.
“But a tour is hard and could throw her family into turmoil. She used to have Guy Ritchie as a back-up but now she’s on her own. Yet she’s a more well-rounded, happier woman than she was a decade ago.
“Up to the age of 50 I think she took her satisfaction from her career but now she’s found joy beyond that. I think she’s happier than she’s ever been.”
But “ageing gracefully” isn’t in her vocabulary.
“Like so many women in show-business she’s used Botox and fillers in the last decade and we’ve seen Madonna with a variety of faces,” says the author.

“Now she’s hit 60 I think she will find a kind of acceptance. But I wonder, will she still fight the ageing process?” Her children are old enough that they could, in the not-too-distant future, make Madonna a grandparent.
“She might actually welcome being a grandmother,” says Taraborrelli.
“But she wouldn’t want the kids to call her ‘grandma’.
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