May 14, 2021
Prince Harry has said he wants to break the cycle of “genetic pain” in the Royal Family, during his first major interview since his sit-down with Oprah.
What Is ‘Genetic Pain’? How To Spot Your Intergenerational Trauma
Harry joined the Armchair Expert podcast with hosts Dax Shepard and Monica Padman, and revealed he wanted to leave royal life in his 20s, calling it a cross between living in The Truman Show and a zoo.Speaking about his upbringing, he said: “There is no blame. I don’t think we should be pointing the finger or blaming anybody, but certainly when it comes to parenting, if I’ve experienced some form of pain or suffering because of the pain or suffering that perhaps my father or my parents had suffered, I’m going to make sure I break that cycle so that I don’t pass it on, basically.
“It’s a lot of genetic pain and suffering that gets passed on anyway, so we as parents should be doing the most we can to try and say ‘you know what, that happened to me, I’m going to make sure that doesn’t happen to you’.”
We asked two counselling psychologists what we need to know about “genetic pain”. What is ‘genetic pain’? Instead of “genetic pain,” Jo Coker, a counselling psychologist who works with the College of Sex and Relationship Therapy, prefers the term ”unresolved intergenerational trauma”. 
“There’s growing evidence that there’s possibly some genetic link to intergenerational trauma, but that’s at a very early stage,” she tells HuffPost UK. “I think Prince Harry may have just cottoned onto that term, but it’s perhaps not a term we would tend to use.”
Intergenerational trauma is when somebody has had a traumatic event in their childhood – or an experience they didn’t enjoy or didn’t like – and they go on to repeat that same pattern with their children, she explains. 
“Even with every intention to do things differently, people tend to repeat history,  because that’s the pattern that exists,” says Coker. “It’s a bit like when people who have a poor [romantic] relationship say: ’I’m never going to repeat a relationship like that again’, and then they go on to have a relationship exactly like that again. We all tend to repeat patterns that have been set for us.”How does intergenerational trauma manifest?There aren’t a series of tick-boxes you can check to see if your family is impacted by intergenerational trauma or genetic pain, says counselling psychologist Dr Chloe Paidoussis Mitchell. 
“It’s often invisible, and can cause mental health difficulties such as anxiety, depression and addiction issues,” she tells HuffPost UK. “Often, children carrying the wounds of generational patterns feel very low self-worth and self-esteem, and because there’s no obvious cause, they don’t understand it and try and mask it, or avoid facing it.”
This trauma, or pain, can be very destabilising and impact a person’s sense of wellbeing and happiness over a number of years, she adds. “Therapy to heal genetic pain involves learning to build a positive relationship with oneself and awareness of what has contributed to this pain.” How to break the cycleBoth experts agree avoiding blame is key to BREAKING the cycle. Cross generational trauma is “unintentional and unconscious” and “distressing for all parties” in almost every case, says Dr Paidoussis Mitchell. 
“Stopping the patterns doesn’t mean rejecting parents or accusing them,” she adds. “To stop patterns from being repeated, it’s important to do this from a place of compassion, not judgment and rage, so you’re sure you’re not unconsciously enacting a pattern of repressed anger to your own children.”
Learning about the historical context of your parent’s (or grandparent’s) experience can help you to approach the topic with more neutrality, says Coker.
“For example, if we go back to the previous century and look at the 1920s, 1930s and 1940s, people would send their children halfway across the world to boarding school and not see them for a year, but we would consider that pretty barbaric now,” she says. Stopping the patterns doesn’t mean rejecting parents or accusing them.Counselling psychologist Dr Chloe Paidoussis Mitchell“So you also have to see trauma in the context of history. If you’re trying to recover from intergenerational trauma, you need to be able to understand the events that happened, not just see it in isolation and in the context of today’s world. What sounds unacceptable today may have been acceptable then.”
Talking to your parents or grandparents about their childhood is the first, obvious step to greater understanding of historical context. “It’s all about having sensitive conversations about childhood with all generations in the spirit of love and care, rather than rejection and judgment,” says Dr Paidoussis Mitchell. “People make mistakes and parenting is always about being good enough.” 
Making an active choice to confront these troubling memories and break a cross generation pattern “takes courage and can be very destabilising for the whole family,” she adds. Professional guidance is often advisable, so intentions are properly validated and understood.Useful websites and helplines
Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI - this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.READ MORE:Prince Harry Says He Already Wanted To Leave Royal Life In His 20sPrince Harry Nails Why You Shouldn't Say 'You Need Help' To Someone Struggling'All Too Familiar': Why Black British Women Relate Hard To Meghan MarkleMen Journal, Too – And They’re Starting To Talk About ItPrince Harry Reveals His Early Secret Meetup With Meghan Markle
Related Stories
Latest News
Top news around the world
Coronavirus Disease

Coronavirus disease (COVID-19) is an infectious disease caused by a newly discovered coronavirus.

Most people infected with the COVID-19 virus will experience mild to moderate respiratory illness and recover without requiring special treatment. Older people, and those with underlying medical problems like cardiovascular disease, diabetes, chronic respiratory disease, and cancer are more likely to develop serious illness.

Around the World

Celebrity News

> Latest News in Media

Watch It
Heather Locklear goes makeup-free while grabbing a bite to eat at Erewhon | Page Six Celebrity News
June 18, 2021
1qeBy5VwSk8
Braunwyn Windham-Burke reveals where she was when she got fired from RHOC | Page Six Celebrity News
June 18, 2021
PrZ81XixXVs
Kylie Jenner says she’s ‘not thinking about marriage’ on ‘KUTWK’ reunion | Page Six Celebrity News
June 18, 2021
PUjBLuaSlO8
'Gorilla Glue Girl' Says She's Going to Be The Kylie Jenner of Hair Care | TMZ
June 21, 2021
MGcco43FWzA
Kat Graham Not Down for 'Vampire Diaries' Reboot Amid Nina Dobrev Reunion | TMZ
June 21, 2021
fgSzcSZNnPU
Bobby Shmurda Helps Struggling Dads for Father's Day, Free Cuts & Meals | TMZ
June 20, 2021
nc9DV8cBGyc
Bringing Untold History to the Screen in 'Small Axe's' Activist Scene
June 21, 2021
BsOaWmw3HCM
'Rise Again: Tulsa and the Red Summer' Director Dawn Porter Joins Variety's Doc Dreams
June 17, 2021
oMAMai1pFn0
Elisabeth Moss & Gillian Anderson on ‘Handmaid’s Tale’ and Margaret Thatcher | Actors on Actors
June 09, 2021
1JjqYnbQJtU
NFL Star Carl Nassib Comes Out as Gay & Shows Support In a Big Way | E! News
June 21, 2021
_ZEqZ4GLVK8
Khloé Kardashian & Tristan Thompson Split Again | E! News
June 21, 2021
c_UcKYg6-eY
Olivia Wilde Sidesteps Harry Styles Acting Questions | E! News
June 21, 2021
KPry4D2AHAo
TV Schedule
Late Night Show
Watch the latest shows of U.S. top comedians

Sports

Latest sport results, news, videos, interviews and comments
Latest Events
19
Nov
ASIAN CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Group H
Sydney FC - Shanghai SIPG
17
Nov
UEFA NATIONS LEAGUE A: Group Stage
Spain - Germany
14
Nov
UEFA NATIONS LEAGUE A: Group Stage
Germany - Ukraine
08
Nov
ENGLAND: Premier League
Manchester City - Liverpool
08
Nov
ENGLAND: Premier League
Arsenal - Aston Villa
08
Nov
SPAIN: La Liga
Valencia - Real Madrid
08
Nov
ITALY: Serie A
AC Milan - Verona
08
Nov
ENGLAND: Premier League
West Bromwich Albion - Tottenham Hotspur
08
Nov
ITALY: Serie A
Bologna - Napoli
08
Nov
ITALY: Serie A
Genoa - Roma
08
Nov
ITALY: Serie A
Atalanta - Inter Milan
08
Nov
ITALY: Serie A
Lazio - Juventus
08
Nov
GERMANY: Bundesliga
Bayer Leverkusen - Borussia Monchengladbach
08
Nov
ENGLAND: Premier League
Leicester City - Wolves
08
Nov
GERMANY: Bundesliga
Wolfsburg - Hoffenheim
08
Nov
SPAIN: La Liga
Real Valladolid - Athletic Bilbao
08
Nov
SPAIN: La Liga
Levante - Alaves
08
Nov
SPAIN: La Liga
Real Sociedad - Granada CF
08
Nov
ITALY: Serie A
Torino - Crotone
08
Nov
SPAIN: La Liga
Getafe - Villarreal
07
Nov
GERMANY: Bundesliga
Borussia Dortmund - Bayern Munich
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Premier League
Everton - Manchester United
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Premier League
Chelsea - Sheffield United
07
Nov
SPAIN: La Liga
Atletico Madrid - Cadiz
07
Nov
SPAIN: La Liga
Barcelona - Real Betis
07
Nov
GERMANY: Bundesliga
Augsburg - Hertha Berlin
07
Nov
GERMANY: Bundesliga
Stuttgart - Eintracht Frankfurt
07
Nov
GERMANY: Bundesliga
RB Leipzig - SC Freiburg
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Rotherham - Preston NE
07
Nov
ITALY: Serie A
Parma - Fiorentina
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Watford - Coventry
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Norwich City - Swansea City
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Blackburn - QPR
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Derby County - Barnsley
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Huddersfield - Luton
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Nottingham Forest - Wycombe Wanderers
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Premier League
West Ham United - Fulham
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Sheffield Wednesday - Millwall
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Brentford - Middlesbrough
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Championship
Birmingham - Bournemouth
07
Nov
SPAIN: La Liga
Sevilla - Osasuna
07
Nov
ITALY: Serie A
Benevento - Spezia
07
Nov
ENGLAND: Premier League
Crystal Palace - Leeds
04
Nov
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Group stage, Group G
Ferencvaros - Juventus
04
Nov
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Group stage, Group G
Barcelona - Dynamo K.
03
Nov
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Group stage, Group A
Salzburg - Bayern Munich
03
Nov
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Group stage, Group D
Atalanta - Liverpool
Find us on Instagram
at @feedimo to stay up to date with the latest.
Featured Video You Might Like
zWJ3MxW_HWA L1eLanNeZKg i1XRgbyUtOo -g9Qziqbif8 0vmRhiLHE2U JFCZUoa6MYE UfN5PCF5EUo 2PV55f3-UAg W3y9zuI_F64 -7qCxIccihU pQ9gcOoH9R8 g5MRDEXRk4k
Copyright © 2020 Feedimo. All Rights Reserved.