We need to accept, as a society, that we probably did
Disney a little bit dirty when we all lost our minds over the first few Pirates Of The Caribbean movies. Yes, Gore Verbinski’s hyperactive approach to action directing was fun, yes, Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightley made for fetching protagonists, and, yes, Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow once felt fresh and exciting, and not like the living ghost of regrettable
Halloween Choices Past. But still: The idea that Disney could take it’s oldest, crappiest theme park rides, adapt them for film, and then milk them for literal billions has produced some very weird decisions in recent years, from the utterly shruggable Haunted Mansion movie, to the upcoming Jungle Cruise, to news today that the company is moving forward on a Space Mountain movie.