The Onion

Hailey Baldwin Calls Out Negative People "Tearing Apart" Her Relationship With Justin Bieber
More than 1,300 were arrested and dozens injured after violent anti-government protests engulfed France
Kushner advised Saudi crown prince after Khashoggi killing
'SNL': Jason Momoa resurrects his 'Game of Thrones' character Khal Drogo
Raheem Sterling accuses media of ‘fuelling racism’ after alleged abuse
J.Lo and A-Rod get ready for Christmas with their kids
Tesla's Elon Musk: 'I don't really want to adhere to some CEO template'
'Man is a king': controversial star Buju Banton comes home to Jamaica
Jennifer Aniston Calls Marriages To Brad Pitt And Justin Theroux 'Very Successful'
Ex-MLB players Luis Valbuena, Jose Castillo die in car crash
John Lennon was ‘absolutely devastated’ of losing his mother in a tragic road accident, book reveals
Ariana Grande's Woman of the Year Speech at Billboard Women in Music 2018
Kevin Hart steps down as Oscars host after three days of controversy
William Barr to be nominated as US attorney general
Grammys 2019 Nominations Announced: Cardi B, Lady Gaga And Janelle Monáe Among Top Nominees
Manchester United 'very happy' with José Mourinho, says Jorge Mendes
First official Avengers 4 trailer prepares for the emotional end
Jimmy Kimmel’s daughter used Jennifer Aniston’s backyard as a bathroom
SpaceX Falcon 9 boosts Dragon cargo ship to orbit, first stage misses landing target
Donald Trump Makes No Effort To Greet Jimmy Carter, The Oldest Living President, At Bush Funeral
'Black Panther' breaks through at Golden Globes, with an eye on Oscars
So, Pete Davidson Reportedly Blocked Ariana Grande on Social Media
Nigel Farage quits UKIP over its "extremism" and "street activism"
Katie Price avoids bankruptcy by agreeing to pay debts
Liam Fox Claims MPs May Try To 'Steal Brexit From The People'
Cardi B 'no longer together' with Offset
Megyn Kelly’s freelance staff to lose jobs as she preps to collect $30M
National Republican Congressional Committee suffered ‘cyber intrusion,’ spokesman says
Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas share pictures from their gorgeous wedding
UK government found in contempt of Parliament over Brexit legal advice
Netflix Will Keep ‘Friends’ Through Next Year in a $100 Million Agreement
Kate Middleton Looks Festive in Plaid for Military Christmas Party With Prince William
Ariana Grande Begs Fans To Leave Pete Davidson Alone: ‘I Care Deeply About Pete’
'I am a Tariff Man': Trump threatens to restart trade war if China talks fail
Here’s what will be closed Wednesday for George H.W. Bush’s funeral
ITV Good Morning Britain: Piers Morgan SLAMS ‘piece of work’ Meghan Markle in heated rant
Review: 'The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel' rides Emmy wins to a spitfire of a second season
Bush tribute erupts into shouting match between Meghan McCain and Joy Behar on 'The View'
Jenna Dewan still believes in love after Channing Tatum split
Kim Kardashian calls Kourtney Kardashian ‘ruthless’
Ukraine ports 'partially unblocked' by Russia, Kiev says
Body found in Costa Rica amid search for Miami woman, 36
Victoria's Secret Fashion Show drops to lowest ratings ever
CNN panel trashes Trump after Capitol visit to honor George H.W. Bush
Why George H.W. Bush wanted Trump at his funeral
Michelle Obama says Queen told her that royal protocol is 'rubbish'
Mueller may be poised to lift the lid of his investigation
Kanye West Apologizes for 'Cher Show' Mishap
This was Bradley Cooper’s inspiration for singing in ‘A Star Is Born’
Kendall Jenner bonds with Ben Simmons’ mom in skintight plastic pants
Has Ariana Grande given up on love — or was she just hungry?
Madonna goes after Lady Gaga in latest Instagram
Trump is building a new liberal world order, says Pompeo
'Our leaders are like children,' school strike founder tells climate summit
Martin Sorrell's S4 buys ad firm MightyHive in $150m deal
Britain can legally cancel Brexit. That’s EU advice – but will parliament agree?
Mafia 'godfather' among 45 alleged mobsters held in Sicily
Italy's M5S sacks entire board of health experts, sparking political interference concerns
Football star Ada Hegerberg asked to twerk after inaugural women's Ballon d'Or win
Victoria Beckham pictures: Designer joins husband David Beckham at Haig Club House Party
MACRON BUCKLES: Weak French President CAVES IN as riots and rebels force red-faced u-turn
UK can stop article 50 without EU approval, top ECJ adviser says
NASA probe reaches Bennu – asteroid that could one day hit Earth
Israel begins operation to expose Hezbollah 'attack tunnels' on Lebanon border
Kate Middleton And Meghan Markle 'Feud' Questioned By Everyday Sisters-In-Law
Strictly Come Dancing's Stacey Dooley Trades Kevin Clifton For Aljaž Škorjanec As She Joins Live Tour
Samsung Nigeria tweets update using Apple iPhone
Protest-hit France 'to halt fuel tax rise'
Pete Davidson describes online 'bullying' after Ariana Grande split
YouTube top earners: The seven-year-old making $22m
George HW Bush funeral: Trump pays respects at US Capitol
Michelle Obama on ‘leaning in’: ‘Sometimes that shit doesn’t work’
Missing Emirati princess 'planned escape for seven years'
Manchester City may face Champions League ban after Uefa FFP investigation
Drake, Post Malone and XXXTentacion are most-streamed artists of 2018 on Spotify
Trump's praise for Roger Stone could amount to witness tampering – experts
Senior minister could be suspended over Brexit legal advice
CIA chief Haspel to brief US Senate leaders on Khashoggi's death
First women’s Ballon d’Or marred as winner Ada Hegerberg is asked to twerk
Ariana Grande Covered Up Her Pete Davidson Tattoo with a Mac Miller Tribute
NASA, Roscosmos Successfully Launch Soyuz After Aborted Mission
John Barrowman Returns To ‘I’m A Celebrity’ After Spending Night In Hospital Following Nasty Fall
A cult figure, Paul Sherwen brought cycling to the world
Halsey's message for Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
Pittsburgh synagogue holds its first Hanukkah ceremony since the Tree of Life massacre
Chicago Bulls fire coach Fred Hoiberg; Boylen takes over
Samantha Eastwood murder: man jailed for minimum of 16 years
Does The International Day of Disabled Persons Really Change Anything?
Ariana Grande Reveals What It Was Like Working With Kris Jenner on "Thank U, Next"
Live coverage: SpaceX delays commercial rideshare launch to Monday
Paris riots: Yellow vests 'infiltrated by violent elements'
Donald Trump, Xi Jinping Agree To Trade Truce At G-20 Summit
Ken Berry, TV Actor in ‘F-Troop,’ ‘Mayberry R.F.D,’ Dies at 85
Lucas Torreira caps Arsenal’s comeback in 4-2 derby win over 10-man Spurs
G20: Step Up to Boost Inclusive Growth
Royal family DENIES Kate Middleton slapped down Meghan Markle for berating her staff
Ariana Grande apologised to Pete Davidson for "dipping" in her 'thank u, next' video
George HW Bush, 41st US president, dies aged 94
Kate Osamor Resigns From Shadow Cabinet After 'Throwing Bucket Of Water At Reporter'
Ariana Grande shares letter she wrote to fans after Manchester bombing
Canada, U.S., Mexico sign revised NAFTA deal Trump says ‘changes the trade landscape forever’
Marriott reveals data breach of 500 million Starwood guests
Jay-Z seemingly disses Kanye West and his MAGA hat on new Meek Mill song
Celebrities jump to David Beckham’s defence after criticism for on-the-lips kiss
Deutsche Bank offices raided in connection with Panama Papers
Michael Cohen pleads guilty to making false statements to Congress
The greatest showman? Hugh Jackman announces world tour
Theresa May accepts BBC Brexit debate but Jeremy Corbyn prefers ITV
Jimmy Fallon Transforms Into Trump As An Elvis Impersonator
Ivanka Trump defends use of private email, brushes aside Mueller probe
Quentin Letts to leave Daily Mail for Murdoch-owned papers
Harry Leslie Smith, WWII veteran and activist, dies at 95
Google Fi for iPhones: Fewer Features, Lower Prices
Margaret Atwood announces The Handmaid's Tale sequel, The Testaments
Why Meghan Markle and Prince Harry Are Spending Their Engagement Anniversary Apart
Ariana Grande's 'Thank U, Next' Trailer Is All 'Mean Girls' And Pete Davidson Jokes
Macron talks about a unified Europe but presides over a divided France
Mel B snaps during live TV interview
Amanda Bynes speaks candidly about her drug-fuelled spiral
Baroness Trumpington, Bletchley Park codebreaker and longtime politician, dies at 96
Red Dead Redemption 2 multiplayer release time: When does RDR2 online beta start?
NASA InSight Lander Arrives on Martian Surface to Learn What Lies Beneath
US forces: 3 American service members killed in Afghanistan
Manafort held secret talks with Assange in Ecuadorian embassy, sources say
Sol Campbell is the new Macclesfield Town manager
NASA's InSight Mars Lander Reaches Mars Today! Here's What to Expect
Melania Trump Has Unveiled the 2018 White House Christmas Decorations
Russia accuses Ukraine of naval 'provocation' in Kerch strait
Margaret Thatcher eligible to be 'scientist' on new £50 note
Oscar-winner, director of ‘Last Tango in Paris,’ Bernardo Bertolucci dies at 77
Lena Dunham breaks up with Brooklyn for the West Village
Mack Brown in discussions with North Carolina about returning as football coach
BREXIT BLACKMAIL: Macron will FORCE UK into backstop unless May grants EU fishing access
Diddy Delivers Emotional Eulogy at Kim Porter's Funeral
Ricky Jay, Magician and 'Boogie Nights' Actor, Dies at 72
NFL linebacker Reuben Foster arrested on domestic violence charge
Russia space agency chief: We'll verify US moon landings
Jennifer Garner is too cute as she copies Snoop Dogg's dance on Hollywood Walk of Fame
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Will Move Out of Kensington Palace to a New Home in Windsor
French police fire tear gas at protesters on Champs Elysees
Madrid's perfect run with Solari ends with 3-0 loss to Eibar
Nicolas Roeg, director of Don't Look Now and Walkabout, dies aged 90
Madonna posts rare photo of her kids in Malawi on Thanksgiving
Justin Bieber Sings 'Happy Birthday' to Wife Hailey Baldwin — and Shoves Her Face into Sheet Cake
'The Lion King' Trailer Is Frame-By-Frame Identical To The Animated Version
Amazon workers strike in Germany, Spain on Black Friday
NASA's InSight Lander Will Look Inside Mars Like Never Before. Here's Why.
Jimmy Fallon Singing a Christina Aguilera Song With a Robot is Exactly as Creepy as It Sounds
American killed by isolated tribe on North Sentinel Island in Andamans
Rita Ora announces UK arena tour and she's coming to Birmingham - how to get tickets
Chelsea great Drogba retires from football
Donald Trump attempts political satire in Thanksgiving turkey pardon – video
Hillary Clinton: Europe must curb immigration to stop rightwing populists
Katy Perry edges out Taylor Swift, Beyonce to become highest-paid woman in music
Ariana Grande ditches engagement ring from Pete Davidson for friendship ring
Trump Thanks Saudi Arabia For Low Gas Prices After Jamal Khashoggi's Killing
Harry Redknapp sets out tactics in crab-stroking I’m A Celebrity debut
Wreck-It Ralph finally gives the internet what it deserves in Ralph Breaks the Internet
Martin O’Neill and Roy Keane leave Republic of Ireland roles
Matthew Hedges: British academic accused of spying jailed for life in UAE
Devin Lima Dead: LFO Singer Dies Aged 41, After Adrenal Cancer Battle
1 killed in fiery Brooklyn Bridge crash
Cardi B Fulfills "Childhood Dreams" After Purchasing Her Mom a New House
Harry and Meghan May Not Become William and Kate's Neighbors After All
Ivanka Trump Reportedly Used Personal Email Account For Official White House Business
Chris Watts Gets Life in Prison for Killing Daughters and Pregnant Wife
'Dancing With the Stars' crowns shocking winner
Police officer, 2 staffers killed in shooting at Mercy Hospital in Chicago
Kabul wedding hall blast kills 40, Afghan officials say
Facebook, Instagram go down, and some just can't deal
Taylor Swift Signs New Deal With Universal Music Group
Joe Theismann feels Alex Smith’s pain
Paul Gascoigne denies sexual assaulting woman on train
Nissan Renault chief Carlos Ghosn faces arrest in Japan
Stephen Colbert reveals why he returned to Catholicism
Hailey Baldwin Changes Last Name on Instagram as Justin Bieber Praises His "Wife"
Elon Musk says a 'radical change' is coming to SpaceX's monster Mars rocket design
Browns’ stunning option for next head coach: Condoleezza Rice
Meghan Markle & Prince Harry Enjoy Double Date with Prince William & Kate Middleton at Royal Dinner
Hailey Baldwin and Justin Bieber appear to confirm marriage
Ariana Grande debuts a new look and people have a lot of opinions about it
WATCH: HBO’s Bill Maher destroys Trump for bungling his response to every national disaster that happens
Roger Federer OUT of ATP Finals as Alexander Zverev delivers shock upset
Jimmy Kimmel gets Michelle Obama to say things she couldn't say as First Lady
Ariana Grande’s “thank u, next” Is the Breakup Song for the Social-Media Age
Is Julian Assange facing criminal charges in the US?
Butch Cassidy and Princess Bride scriptwriter William Goldman dies aged 87
Watch SpaceX launch and land a used Falcon 9 rocket
Kim Kardashian West: Kanye drawn more to Donald Trump's personality than his politics
Elton John's John Lewis Christmas ad: it could have been so different
After arrest, Michael Avenatti denies LA domestic violence
Carrie Underwood reveals the gender of her baby at CMAs
Jacob Rees-Mogg Demands Theresa May Resign - As Tory MPs Savage Brexit Deal
Bradley Cooper's Original 'A Star Is Born' Script Had an Ending Even More Faithful to the 1937 Original
‘Bill Clinton should want to apologize’: Monica Lewinsky opens up about scandal in new documentary
Who is Mira Ricardel? First Lady Melania Trump wants the national security official fired
Novak Djokovic sweeps aside Alexander Zverev at ATP Finals
Game of Thrones Season 8 Finally Has a Premiere Date
I’m A Celeb’s Emily Atack ‘keen to set record straight’ about fling with disgraced Strictly star Seann Walsh
Detective Pikachu: 'Gross' furry Pokemon divides fans