The Onion

The 100 greatest UK No 1s: No 3, The Beatles – She Loves You
Maradona dies aged 60: tributes and reaction - latest updates
Diego Maradona, one of the greatest footballers of all time, dies aged 60
Liverpool v Atalanta: Champions League – live!
Bahraini political prisoners appeal to Lewis Hamilton for his help
Phil Foden finish sends Manchester City into last 16 with win over Olympiakos
José Mourinho is the right man to bring Tottenham the title, says Lucas Moura
Nicolas Pépé's Arsenal future in his hands, says manager Mikel Arteta
Child genius Diego Maradona became the fulfilment of a prophecy | Jonathan Wilson
India creep into Australia but Virat Kohli's cricket team will not be intimidated | Geoff Lemon
Champions League, yet more VAR and the return of fans – Football Weekly
Alabama's Saban to miss rivalry game with Auburn after positive Covid-19 test
A life in pictures: Diego Maradona
Share your tributes and memories of Diego Maradona
Superintelligence review – Melissa McCarthy can't save unfunny AI comedy
Visual Acoustics: The Modernism of Julius Shulman review – a lens on California dreaming
The Ringmaster review – petrol-station horror pumps up the nastiness
Jungleland review – flimsy boxing drama pulls its punches
Locked In: Breaking the Silence review – life-affirming story of a devastating illness
Ofcom: BBC services such as iPlayer an afterthought for younger audiences
Netflix to spend $1bn in UK in 2020 on TV shows and films
PRH owner Bertelsmann to buy Simon & Schuster in $2bn deal
Country Life publisher Future to buy GoCompare for £594m
Police investigate I'm a Celebrity over fears non-native bugs may be escaping
Jeremy Kyle 'called TV guest serial liar' a week before his death
Google and Facebook news payments to include ABC and SBS after change to draft code
Covid's $325m hit to Australian TV and film industry 'unprecedented'
Daytime dream: The Chase is the undisputed king of quizshows
I suddenly feel old. And it’s all down to TikTok sensation Charli D'Amelio | Arwa Mahdawi
Young women are watching Diana's story in The Crown with horror | Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett
Taylor Swift: The Long Pond Studio Sessions review – cosy campfire confessions
Jeff Tweedy on songwriting: 'Find five minutes – it doesn’t take that long!'
Aria awards 2020: Archie Roach and Sampa the Great electrify as Tame Impala win big
From Vivaldi to Vaughan Williams: more musical voices who have changed our world
The Weeknd alleges Grammys corruption after nominations snub
'Frank didn't adhere to any movements': behind the Zappa documentary
Tracks of the week reviewed: Sega Bodega, Pale Waves, Yard Act
Gordon Taylor to stand down as PFA chief executive this season
Jonny May's athletic sorcery reignites debate about the greatest tries | Andy Bull
Zak Hardaker primed to repay Wigan's faith with Grand Final redemption
England's T20 top-order batting strength is 'frightening', says Jason Roy
Maybe Klopp and friends should stop moaning about fixtures and get on with it | Barry Glendenning
Formula One faces charge of aiding sportwashing by racing in Bahrain
Real Madrid and Inter in fight for their Champions League lives
Andy Murray calls for ATP Tour to create domestic abuse policy
'Where the hell did that come from?': Wrexham fans on the takeover
Female footballers may face greater risk of dementia, says expert
Solskjær takes the handbrake off but can he do it when it really matters? | Jonathan Liew
Aaron Rodgers defends Valdes-Scantling after Packers fans' death threats
'They target people': John Mitchell tells England to expect wind-ups in Wales
Australian Open delay 'likely' outcome of government talks with Tennis Australia
Talking Horses: racecourses to waive bookies fees when spectators return
Fans' long-awaited return to stadiums could be hit by shortage of stewards
Ian Botham at 65: 'I was happy to play the buffoon. But I listened more than I let on'
Playing for England with a teammate from the same non-English club | The Knowledge
Olivier Giroud strikes late against Rennes to seal Chelsea's last-16 spot
Leeds' Marcelo Bielsa makes Fifa shortlist for men's manager of the year
Bruno Fernandes leads Manchester United to Istanbul Basaksehir win
Fans' return will not be cash bonanza many EFL clubs are hoping for
Championship roundup: Norwich hold off Stoke fightback to stay top
Aston Villa's Jack Grealish smelled of 'intoxicating liquor' after crash, court told
Champions League roundup: Barcelona through after Braithwaite double
Georgia Senate candidate Raphael Warnock — and his dog — respond to smear ads
Biden says with his election, world leaders know 'America's back' and 'at the head of the table once again'
Trump unexpectedly held a 63-second press conference
Marco Rubio blasts Biden White House picks for Ivy League degrees — despite Trump administration's similar credentials
From Beyoncé to the Oscars: Mary Twala, Africa's queen of cinema
Director apologizes for unmuted critique of actor's apartment during audition
Fall of a Kingdom review – dull trudge through war and romance
Overseas review – maids in training make haunting viewing
Nadine Shah: 'I can't pay the rent on unfair music streaming revenues'
Fox News' Laura Ingraham and Tucker Carlson distance themselves from Trump
Help us raise $1.25m to fund high impact journalism in the new year
Beyoncé tops 2021 Grammy nominations in strong field for women
All doom and boom: what’s the heaviest music ever made?
Nines tops nominations for first Mobo awards since 2017
Lovers Rock gives life to the joyful Black history of blues parties | Micha Frazer-Carroll
Koechlin: Les Chants de Nectaire review | Andrew Clements's classical album of the week
Raye: Euphoric Sad Songs review
Contento: Lo Bueno Está Aquí review | Ammar Kalia's global album of the month
Taylor Swift heads to Disney+ for an 'intimate concert' of Folklore
Rennes v Chelsea: Champions League – live!
Shane Sutton 'lying' in denying he knew of doping in cycling, tribunal hears
Nigel Owens: 'We need to get back to the referee actually reffing the game'
French Rugby World Cup winner Christophe Dominici dies, aged 48
England centre Ollie Lawrence ruled out of trip to face Wales with hip injury
Klopp highlights Roberto Firmino's importance to Liverpool's orchestra
Chris Silverwood says Jos Buttler will be England's T20 opener in South Africa
Wales beating England would not be a shock, says Neil Jenkins
Voting for Rugby World Cup hosts will no longer be secret after rules shake-up
Pep Guardiola claims Manchester City's goal problems are his fault
David Squires on … Being James Milner
The Spin | Commonwealth Games T20 can help ignite huge 2022 for women's cricket
The redemption myth: sporting comebacks are as predictable as they are overblown | Geoff Lemon
'I have to do a better job': Tom Brady rues errors in Buccaneers' loss to Rams
Steve Dalkowski: the life and mystery of baseball's flame-throwing what-if
Nicklas Bendtner, Martin Keown and the ubiquity of pink football boots
Women's Champions League: Chelsea face Benfica, Manchester City land Gothenburg
Aston Villa captain Jack Grealish pleads guilty to careless driving
Steve McClaren returns to Derby as technical director at 'critical time'
Diego Simeone's new and improved Atlético Madrid on title trail again | Sid Lowe
EFL's Rick Parry welcomes 'lifeline' for smaller clubs after decision to let fans in
Michigan certifies Biden win
The car's the star: Herbie, Christine and a fiery DeLorean – in pictures
Gus Van Sant: 'We are living in a wilder time than anything we could imagine'
'Orwellian' government unit obstructs freedom of information, says report
News and How to Use It by Alan Rusbridger review – an insider's appeal to sceptics
Sparkles and bandages: the best outfits from the American Music Awards - in pictures
Bones Hillman's bass was exemplary but his vocals were intrinsic to Midnight Oil's sound
Crowds of up to 4,000 and grassroots sport to return after English lockdown
England's veneration of Eoin Morgan may cause complications when he steps down | Jonathan Liew
Wolves snatch equaliser after Walcott ends 14-year wait for Southampton goal
Nacho Monreal: 'I’ve never been a star but I gave my all for Arsenal'
Kyle Sinckler thanks Eddie Jones and visit from barber for return to form
Drug concerns in cycling not followed up by UK Anti-Doping, tribunal hears
No 1 pick Joe Burrow could miss up to 12 months after tearing ACL and MCL
Talking Horses: Shishkin starts chasing career with Kempton win
Blender may be drugs source, says banned swimmer Shayna Jack
Steve Smith 'finds hands' in ominous sign ahead of Australia's first ODI against India
FA Cup set to introduce concussion substitute trial this season
Maurice Setters, Republic of Ireland assistant to Jack Charlton, dies aged 83
Burnley get first win of season after Chris Wood strike sinks Crystal Palace
Former NYC FC intern accuses David Villa of sexual harassment
Preston's Darnell Fisher charged by FA after grabbing opponent's genitals
Biden officially names Homeland Security secretary and director of national intelligence
Why a watchdog group is troubled by Biden's secretary of state pick
Al Roker says he's feeling good as he returns to Today studio following prostate cancer surgery
GOP Sen. Pat Toomey: Trump trying to pressure state legislatures to overturn election is 'inconsistent' with democracy
How we made The Lives of Others
Unbreakable at 20: the film that finally took superheroes seriously
From Trump's failures to frustration in Wuhan: the rise of Covid documentaries
The saga of Tekashi 6ix9ine: inside the story of a 'supervillain' rapper
Huddersfield contemporary music festival – beauty and freshness and striking new sounds
London's Latin pop explosion: 'The body decodes the music's meaning'
Could Steve McQueen start a lovers rock revival with Small Axe?
Taylor Swift named artist of the year at American Music Awards
Two women accuse Rodney P of domestic abuse
Crowds of up to 4,000 and grassroots sport to return once lockdown ends
Team GB coaches see talent emerging but grassroots tennis needs nurturing
Rabada reiterates BLM support while South Africa team opt not to take knee
Daniel Levy warns of 'irrecoverable loss of income' at Spurs unless fans return
Pep, Pépé and penalties – Football Weekly
Ageless Zlatan Ibrahimovic continues to take care of business for Milan | Nicky Bandini
Pope salutes NBA 'champions' for work on racial justice during Vatican meeting
Olivier Giroud still in Chelsea plans but Lampard may not block January move
Werder Bremen set niche Bundesliga record in Bayern game that got away
Shishkin starts highly anticipated chasing career with easy Kempton win
Premier League: 10 talking points from the weekend's action
In praise of the magnificent, weird intensity of Philip Rivers
Leeds and Arsenal condemn online abuse of Ezgjan Alioski and Nicolas Pépé
Manly Sea Eagles NRL player Keith Titmuss dies after training
Wrexham's takeover may make football the cart behind a documentary horse | Paul MacInnes
'Welcome to the Army, Mr Pardew' – CSKA appoint new technical director
Solskjær: Manchester United 'need at least 10 points' in Champions League
Lionel Messi rested for Barça trip to Kyiv as Koeman bemoans 'crazy' schedule
Fifa bans head of African football for five years after misappropriation of funds
Monaco's comeback win over PSG was a triumph for Niko Kovac
Former South Africa defender Anele Ngcongca dies in car accident
Incoming secretary of state Antony Blinken has original love songs available on Spotify
Surgeon General Jerome Adams is 'begging' Americans to keep Thanksgiving 'small and smart'
Oxford-AstraZeneca's COVID-19 vaccine is shockingly cheap
Maryland Gov. Larry Hogan is 'embarrassed' his GOP is helping Trump make the U.S. look like 'a banana republic'
White House downer: why Hollywood should steer clear of a Trump biopic
Liverpool show they have resolve to retain title in season of trench warfare | Jonathan Wilson
Eddie Jones credits Liverpool's role in Jonny May's wonder try for England
Daniil Medvedev wins ATP Finals title after comeback floors Dominic Thiem
Arteta angry at Pépé over 'unacceptable' red card in Arsenal stalemate at Leeds
Virimi Vakatawa scores decisive try in France's win over Scotland
'Fantastic ambassador' Lewis Hamilton deserves knighthood, says Damon Hill
'See ya next year': No1 pick Joe Burrow carted off in Bengals loss
Talking Horses: home straight fence at Kempton 'burned down' by arsonists
England's relentless defence is fast becoming the real deal | Robert Kitson
Jarryd Hayne trial: former NRL star alleged to have raped woman in 2018, jury panel told
David Warner says Covid will force him to consider missing some cricket tours
Cycle of impatience and change leaves Arsenal still searching for an identity | Jonathan Liew
Milan sweat on Ibrahimovic injury after his double earns leaders win at Napoli
Rangers go 11 points clear after James Tavernier seals thrashing of Aberdeen
White House vaccine czar expects kids will receive coronavirus vaccine by middle of 2021
H.R. McMaster says Trump has 'doubled down' on Obama's mistakes in Afghanistan
Kali Uchis: Sin Miedo (del Amor y Otros Demonios) ∞ review – her best is yet to come
Scotland v France: Autumn Nations Cup – live!
Leeds United v Arsenal: Premier League – live!
Sébastien Haller gives West Ham victory to leave Sheffield United in trouble
Everton hold on for win after Ivan Cavaleiro's penalty miss costs Fulham
Darnell Fisher faces FA investigation for touching Callum Paterson's genitals
Rangers go 11 points clear after James Tavernier seals thrashing over Aberdeen
Error-prone Wallabies struggle as leftover flaws from Cheika era are exposed | Bret Harris
Ex-PMs unite in Australia in bid to curb power of Murdoch empire
Facebook condemned for hosting neo-Nazi network with UK links
Remembering Selena: the legacy of a murdered star
Slowthai: 'I know who I am, I know what I stand for'
Luke Abbott: Translate review – lush and cavernous
Tayla Parx: Coping Mechanisms review – a treat of a breakup album
Jonny May's magical try makes you realise why you fell in love with game | Andy Bull
Fulham v Everton: Premier League – live!
Brendan Rogers’ Anfield past brings power of ignition to latest reunion | Barney Ronay
Mark Wood heads to Cape Town as England's undervalued match-winner
Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic knocked out of ATP World Tour Finals
Alyssa Healy WBBL masterclass not enough for Sixers as Scorchers reach finals
Expert warns of 'hugely worrying' number of headers in football matches