The Onion

West Indies secure first Test victory over England – live!
‘Tiger King’ Zoo Searched by Police After ‘Ghost Adventures’ Shocker
‘Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back’ Leads Weekend Box Office 23 Years After Reissue
Fox News Condemns Remarks By Former Tucker Carlson Staffer
Aishwarya Rai Tests Positive for Coronavirus as Bollywood’s Bachchan Dynasty Is Struck Down
KiKi Layne: 'It hasn’t hit me yet – I’m going to be Eddie Murphy’s daughter!’
Elizabeth Debicki: ‘I’m not interested in being comfortable’
Jealous Johnny Depp ‘tried to stop Amber Heard sex scenes’, court told
Guardian's Today in Focus triumphs at British Podcast Awards
Amazon tells employees to delete TikTok – then walks it back
George Alagiah: ‘It took me a long time to feel comfortable in my Britishness’
The future of film: can cinema survive Covid-19?
Fox host's writer quits after racist and sexist online comments revealed
Blueprint is going out of print, but its glory days are not over yet
Lianne La Havas: 'It's hard to fit in when you have two heritages'
Crawley hits 76 but England lose late wickets to give West Indies upper hand
Raheem Sterling stoops to conquer Brighton with Manchester City hat-trick
Jack Charlton: a footballing giant who was forever a man of the people | Kevin Mitchell
Oxted gives Cieren Fallon first Group One victory in July Cup
Holder's dismissal of Stokes sparked West Indies' special day, says Simmons
Manu Tuilagi set to move to Sale and keep England career alive
Sheffield United on target for Europe as McGoldrick dents Chelsea’s hopes
Burnley's Jay Rodriguez ends Liverpool's perfect Anfield record
Why Tottenham are stagnating under José Mourinho, who has yet to evolve | Jonathan Wilson
Joe Denly likely to be ushered off England stage after fluffing lines again | Ali Martin
Summer finally arrives at England's clubs where they live for cricket | Andy Bull
Barcelona and Vidal keep pressure on as Ronaldo rescues Juventus
Bollywood superstar Amitabh Bachchan tests positive for coronavirus
Belgian Government Warns Citizens To Avoid Leicester
Lorraine Kelly Praises Kate Garraway's Strength In Husband's Covid-19 Battle: 'I'm So Proud Of Her'
MPs Warn Of 'Unfair Bias' In Predicted Exam Grade System
David Beckham Presents Captain Tom Moore With Special Award For NHS Fundraising Efforts
Jada Pinkett Smith Admits To Dating August Alsina During Will Smith Separation
England World Cup Winner Jack Charlton Dies Aged 85
Inquest Into The Death Of Nóra Quoirin To Begin In August
'Too big to fail': why even a historic ad boycott won’t change Facebook
The Rise of the Murdoch Dynasty: we get it lads, it’s like Succession
Jo Tuckman, longtime Guardian reporter in Mexico, dies aged 53
I May Destroy You: why Michaela Coel's drama is a true TV gamechanger
The BBC will be attacked for charging over-75s licence fees. But it's not to blame | Jane Martinson
'Wildly inappropriate': VOA purge continues as foreign journalists' visas not renewed
'Cute but cruel': the crime drama hailed a Chinese TV milestone
Philippine lawmakers vote for shutdown of top broadcaster
Police interrogate five Australian Al Jazeera journalists accused of sedition in Malaysia
Let a jury decide what content should appear on social media
The best interviewees? Give me an actor in their winter years with a few scores to settle | Hadley Freeman
Miami is a new coronavirus hot spot, internal CDC document says
Russia's journalists under increasing pressure from the secret services in wake of Putin's shaky referendum victory
Prosecutor whose star has risen under Trump named Brooklyn-based acting U.S. Attorney
Woman makes history by joining the elite Green Berets in the US
Biden proposes $700bn plan to revive US economy, contrasting it with Trump's 'America First' policies
De Blasio: Black Lives Matter Protests Exempt from Large-Event Ban
'Witch Hunt': Trump commutes longtime adviser Roger Stone's prison sentence
Seoul mayor's death prompts sympathy, questions of his acts
'A self-centered publicity stunt': just how serious is Kanye West's presidential bid?
On my radar: Sheku Kanneh-Mason's cultural highlights
One to watch: Oscar Jerome
Lewis Hamilton on pole for F1 Styrian GP after masterful drive in the rain
Norwich relegated from Premier League as West Ham's Antonio hits four
Brighton v Man City: Premier League – live!
'He was larger than life': tributes pour in for football legend Jack Charlton
Championship: West Brom suffer promotion blow at Blackburn
Troy Deeney penalty double earns Watford comeback win over Newcastle
Said Benrahma's double at Derby makes it seven wins in a row for Brentford
Solskjær tells Manchester United players not to get carried away by run
Romney breaks from GOP again with criticism of Trump's Roger Stone decision
‘The Baby-Sitters Club’s’ Momona Tamada on Playing Asian American Pop Culture Icon Claudia Kishi
Lori Loughlin, Mossimo Giannulli Sell Bel Air Mansion to Tinder Co-Founder
Weinstein Accuser Opposes Settlement, Says Process Is Unfair
‘Wedding Crashers’ at 15: The Secrets Behind the Hit Comedy Starring Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson
Elle King Talks Isolation, Sobriety and Self-Repair: ‘I Was Really Struggling’
Streaming: great basketball films to watch after The Last Dance
Above Suspicion review – stranger than fiction weirdness of FBI murder
Johnny Depp denies hurling phone at Amber Heard during breakup
Hundreds gather for funeral of Palestinian shot by Israeli troops
Judge blocks removal of more Confederate statues in Richmond
New Flynn Notes: ‘FBI Leadership’ Decided Not to Provide Russian Call Transcripts to Flynn in Interview
Dr Fauci last briefed Trump two months ago, as the top expert admits he has reputation to not ‘sugar-coat’ information
Is the US supreme court having a liberal moment? Don't be so sure, experts say
Turn off your air conditioning, experts say after WHO shifts stance on airborne coronavirus
New photos show suspects in Lancaster beating, robbery
Lawmakers vote to shut down Philippines' largest TV network
Mexico asks Canada to arrest, extradite ex-investigator
German ministers decline Washington G7 summit invite: Der Spiegel
Kazakhstan rejects Chinese warning over pneumonia outbreak
Thousands Of Parents, Students Shocked As New York Catholic Schools Close
Jack Charlton, England World Cup winner, dies aged 85
Norwich City v West Ham United: Premier League – live!
England v West Indies: first Test, day four – live!
The greatest male tennis player of the last 50 years: the fans' verdict
Watford v Newcastle United: Premier League – live!
Formula One is well and truly back – it wasn't easy but everyone has embraced it | George Russell
More than the average bear: Peter Handscomb's meditative approach to cricket and life
Jack Charlton: an exceptional leader who had Ireland dancing in the streets | Paul Doyle
Roberto Martínez: 'I did not expect to be in the international game this long'
Transfers provide a silver lining for WSL and may soon have a Bronze hue
Jack Charlton: his life and times – in pictures
How Sweden And Portugal Went From Pandemic Role Models To Record Infections
This Is What We Know – And Still Don't Know – About A Second Wave Of Coronavirus In The UK
I May Destroy You's Paapa Essiedu On The Many Different Faces Of Kwame And Smashing Assumed Limitations
Why Young People Will Be The Pandemic's Long-Term Victims
I Survived The Srebrenica Massacre. 25 Years Later, I’m Still Hurting
San Cisco, Mo'Ju, Alex the Astronaut and more: Australian music for isolated times
British Gymnastics head 'appalled and ashamed' at multiple abuse stories
Mikel Arteta has Arsenal players on right wavelength in time for Spurs | Nick Ames
Mark Wood's struggles prove quickest does not always mean most effective | Andy Bull
Burnout fears as England's leading players face full year of matches
Talking Horses: Royal Ascot winner Golden Horde can lift July Cup
Ebony Rainford-Brent says cricket is 'switched on to racism message'
Adored like Ali: why Roger Federer is the champion of the world – in a tiebreak | Kevin Mitchell
Real Madrid maintain winning run against Alavés and close in on title
Ryan Giggs: 'Wales deserve that status of being feared and taken seriously'
Roston Chase defies England to put West Indies in driving seat
Jordan Henderson avoids surgery and will lift Premier League trophy
José Mourinho accepts Tottenham fans' dissent but promises better next term
Guardiola convinced Manchester City will escape Champions League ban
Mitrovic penalty helps sink Cardiff and secure Fulham play-off spot
Taking Everton to Champions League would be huge success, says Ancelotti
Tucker Carlson’s Top Writer Resigns After Discovery of Racist, Sexist Comments in Online Forum
‘Run’ Canceled By HBO After One Season
‘The Office’: Peacock Brass Exploring “Creative Ideas” For Series’ Launch, Including Possible Reunion; No Reboot Talk
Stephen King Novella ‘If It Bleeds’ Draws Movie Deals From Netflix & John Lee Hancock/Jason Blum/Ryan Murphy, Two Others From Ben Stiller And Darren Aronofsky
'30 Rock' Reunion: Liz Lemon Yells at a Non-Mask Wearer in First Teaser
Johnny Depp Alleges Amber Heard or Her Friend Defecated in Their Bed
‘Jurassic World: Dominion’ Resumes Shooting, Studio Denies Halt Due to Covid-19
TV Spinoff of ‘The Batman’ About Gotham City PD in the Works at HBO Max
Eminem Slays Anti-Maskers, ‘Dirty’ Cops in New Single With Kid Cudi – Plus: ‘F— Drew Brees’ (Video)
‘Inviting Disaster’: Disney World Reopening Inspires Worry From Health Experts, Optimism From Some Workers
Julia Sawalha furious after being told she is 'too old' for Chicken Run sequel
Will the Snyder Cut of Justice League be any better than Joss Whedon's original?
Finally, a major Hollywood franchise movie with a gay romance | Benjamin Lee
Sam Neill: 'Twitter has become toxic. We don't need someone else shouting'
My streaming gem: why you should watch Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham
I Am Vengeance: Retaliation review – Stu Bennett cries foul and tackles Vinnie Jones
Arkansas review – buddy crime caper with 90s flavour and 70s clobber
Love Sarah review – Celia Imrie stars in warm-hearted Notting Hill drama
Johnny Depp accuses Heard of compiling dossier as 'insurance policy'
What I'm really watching: David Lynch's YouTube channel
From Easy Rider to Sightseers: 10 of the best road trip movies
Julie Walters' best film performances – ranked!
Police Officer Stabbed After Chasing Man With A Knife In North London
UK Will Not Join EU Scheme To Obtain Coronavirus Vaccine, Matt Hancock Confirms
Boris Johnson Tells Britain To 'Go Back To Work'
Boris Johnson Backs 'Stricter' Rules On Wearing Face Coverings
Johnny Depp Tells Court 'Defecation Incident' Was 'Fitting End' To Amber Heard Relationship
At Least 16 Homeless People Have Died After Contracting Covid-19 In England
Seven People Who Fell In Love With Cycling During Lockdown
Holly Willoughby Shares Lockdown TV Glam Routine: 'Hoping This Is The Final Time I Do This'
Lockdown Rules: Here’s What You Still Can’t Do In England
Julia Sawalha Claims She's Been 'Plucked' From Chicken Run Sequel As Voice Sounded 'Too Old'
Helen Mirren Recalls The Time She Confronted An Actual Wild Bear In Her Back Garden
The Rules You'll Need To Follow At The Gym – And How To Stay Safe
Police In England And Wales Face Review Into Possible Racial Bias
Johnny Depp Says Amber Heard Relationship Was ‘Crime Scene Waiting To Happen’
A 7-Year-Old Sent The Queen A Word Search Incase She Was 'Sad Or Lonely'
An Unprecedented 14 Million US Children Are Going Hungry Due To The Covid-19 Crisis
UK Quarantine Rules Relaxed – Here's What You Need To Know
Coronavirus Going Airborne Indoors 'Cannot Be Ruled Out', WHO Says
What Is Toxic Positivity – And Why Can It Be Detrimental?
'Collect Child, Leave Immediately': How Covid-19 Tainted Playground Pick-Ups
Naya Rivera disappearance: What we know
Trump threatens tax-exempt status of colleges, says many are about 'Radical Left Indoctrination'
The Catholic Church raked in $1.4 billion in coronavirus loans
'Cancel culture' doesn't stifle debate, but it does challenge the old order | Billy Bragg
Paul Weller joins Lennon and McCartney with No 1 albums in five straight decades
Pop Smoke: five arrested in connection with Brooklyn rapper's killing
Coronavirus: hospitality VAT cut will apply to concerts and music festivals
Ellie Goulding: 'I was made to feel vulnerable, like a sexual object'
Charley Crockett: ‘I don’t look like what a country audience expects’
This week's new tracks: Big Boi, the Chicks, Kanye West
12-year-old trumpet player performs for health-care workers every night
England v West Indies, first Test, day three – live!
Calm Mason Greenwood can avoid Exciting Teenage Talent implosion | Barney Ronay
Stuart Broad 'frustrated, angry and gutted' at being left out by England
Ferrari's Mugello track to host Tuscan GP as new dates fixed in F1 calendar
Manchester City to face Juventus or Lyon if they beat Real Madrid
Chess: Adams stirs with win under Ciderdrinker alias before Biel event
Noah Lyles smashes Bolt's 200m record – then discovers he only ran 185m
Well Offside: buy a classic European football photo from yesteryear
The greatest: Bjorn Borg – enigma with a bomb-proof winning mentality | Tim Lewis
Sports are returning to America before we've earned them | Bryan Armen Graham
College football takes first hit as Big Ten scraps all nonconference games
Talking Horses: Hollie Doyle's big win plus TV tips for Friday
Tammy Abraham activates one-year Chelsea contract extension
Solskjær warns Mason Greenwood to 'live life properly' to fulfil potential
Alex Cox's dream festival: Coppola, Fellini, Herzog and the 1972 gang
Our film critic's first drive-in: 'I quietly squeak with excitement'
Black Water: Abyss review – PG-style croc horror is fit for a paddling pool
'I never hit Amber': what Johnny Depp said about abuse allegations
How Losing Weight Could Help In The Fight Against Covid-19
Sexting Helped Me Conquer My Body Confidence Issues
3 Satisfying Comfort Food Recipes From A Cookbook That Helps Others
When My Child Came Out As Transgender, I Worried. Now I'm Witnessing Her Joy
Why The Fear Factor Is Boris Johnson’s Biggest Failure On Covid To Date
Metropolitan Police Officer Charged Over Membership Of Far-Right Terrorist Group
'Black Lives Matter' Painted In Huge Letters In Front Of Trump Tower In New York
West Midlands Police Officer Sacked Over Racist Comments About Colleagues
Doctors Accuse Rishi Sunak Of Overlooking The NHS In Summer Statement
The Crown Will Get A Sixth Series After All, Netflix Confirms
Glee's Naya Rivera Presumed Dead, Police Say