The Onion

The cause of the Notre Dame Cathedral fire remains unknown. Everything else is a rumor
Kathie Lee Gifford Reacts to Hoda Kotb’s Surprise Baby News
Westbrook vows to play better after loss
Mark Carney tells global banks they cannot ignore climate change dangers
Beyoncé's 'Homecoming' is as black as it can be
SpaceX loses Falcon Heavy's center booster to the sea
Why Netflix Has A 'Game Of Thrones' Problem
Trump Campaign Makes Minnesota An Early 2020 Target
Actor Lori Loughlin, other parents plead not guilty in U.S. college admissions case
Georgia Engel, who played Georgette on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, has died
Would you visit a 'fake' Notre Dame? You're already doing it at other sites
Russell Wilson and the Seahawks win with record extension
Coachella day three review: Ariana Grande on fire and Pusha T on an iceberg
Man, Woman, and Robot in Ian McEwan’s New Novel
Thousands join Extinction Rebellion protests across London
Hillsborough: Jury fails to reach verdict in David Duckenfield trial
Sarah Hyland Shows Off Her Toned Abs In Green Sports Bra While Hitting The Gym
Facebook investors launch desperate bid to oust Mark Zuckerberg
Uber IPO: Former CEO Travis Kalanick to earn billions
Chinese GP: Bottas Takes Pole For His 1000th F1 Race, Hamilton Finishes 2nd in Qualifying
BTS performed on SNL and fans went crazy
Interview with American Top Team’s Dustin Poirier who headlines UFC 236 for a title
The Perfect Date review: Netflix’s latest Noah Centineo movie is fine
Ariana Grande, who has opened up about PTSD, posts images of her brain scans on Instagram
Tesla Shifts Gears, Again, and Some Fans Are Losing Patience
Julian Assange arrest: justice or a threat to free press?
Annunziata Rees-Mogg to stand as MEP for Farage's Brexit party
Comedians pay tribute to Ian Cognito after standup dies on stage
Jaden Smith Shouts Out Nipsey Hussle, Rides Flying Car During Coachella Set
‘Guava Island’ First Look: Childish Gambino’s Mystery Project With Rihanna Is Unveiled
Is New Taylor Swift Music on the Way? Countdown Clock Suggests April 26 Release
Vasiliy Lomachenko defeats Anthony Crolla with fourth-round knockout
Katie Bouman, the MIT grad who made first-ever photograph of black hole possible
Trick or treat? EU, UK agree to delay Brexit until Halloween
Pavelski's painful goal sparks Sharks' take down of Vegas
Jane the Virgin's Latest Cliffhanger Creates Torture For Everyone
Good-bye glaciers: 390 billion tons of snow and ice melts each year as globe warms
Will Emmanuel Macron veto Theresa May's Brexit extension?
Farewell Fleabag: the most electrifying, devastating TV in years
Chris Davis sets record at 0 for 49, including warning track shot
Felicity Huffman to plead guilty in college admissions cheating case
Dean Ambrose’s Last WWE Match Becomes Brawl With Bobby Lashley
Twenty prison officers injured after violence at Feltham youth jail
Debenhams on brink despite Mike Ashley's last-minute offer
Humans are about to see the first-ever photo of a 'supermassive' black hole. Here what we hope to discover
At Least 6 People Shot in Chicago: Police
Pushing for Tighter Borders, President Asks Jews for Support
'Game Of Thrones' Castmates Turn Up To Ask 'SNL' Host Kit Harington How It All Ends
Charlie Rowley: Novichok victim meets Russian ambassador
Rapper Kodak Black accused of sexual assault: Prosecutor
Texas Tech's historic national title shot, courtesy of hero Matt Mooney
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle break Guinness World Record with new Instagram account
Lauren Sanchez Files for Divorce After Bezos Split Finalized
Judge orders Elon Musk and the SEC to settle Tesla tweet dispute
Trump's threat to close the border was just a trap for Democrats
Mick Jagger 'on the mend' following heart surgery
Britain starts issuing passports without 'European Union' on cover
Grand National 2019 sees awkward moment as six attendees wear same PrettyLittleThing dress
Falcon Heavy SpaceX Launch Will Mark First Commercial Mission
Kurt Cobain died 25 years ago today. A fan recalls seeing Nirvana play on the verge of fame
Lil Nas X Added Billy Ray Cyrus to ‘Old Town Road.’ Is It Country Enough for Billboard Now?
Tesla is selling fewer cars, but says it has ‘sufficient’ cash
Joker Trailer: First Look At Joaquin Phoenix As DC Villain In New Clips
Ohio teen tells investigators he's Timmothy Pitzen, child who disappeared in Illinois in 2011: report
Britney Spears reportedly checks herself into mental health facility
Bryce Harper embraces return to Washington
‘This Is Us’ finale ends season with a slew of new questions
Supermodel Amber Rose Announces She’s Expecting Her Second Child
‘Thrones’ actress Gwendoline Christie dazzles at NYC premiere
Trump lashes out at Democrats over Puerto Rico aid vote
Kim Kardashian reveals baby name she's considering for fourth child
Ernie Grunfeld fired as president of the Washington Wizards
Avengers Endgame tickets ballot opens for HUGE fan event in London: How to enter
Tania Mallet, Bond girl in 'Goldfinger,' dies aged 77
‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians’ Returns With Its New Star: Kanye West?
Rare glimpse into Saudi Aramco shows $111 billion net profit
Google adds Snake to Maps for April Fools' Day gag
Nipsey Hussle: Grammy-nominated rapper shot dead in LA
NASA Announces Successful Completion of ISS Spacewalk
Kylie Jenner Speaks Out About Jordyn Woods' Lip Kip Price Cut After Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Saudis gained access to Amazon CEO Bezos' phone: Bezos' security chief
Brexit: Theresa May considers next step to break deadlock
Charles Leclerc pips Sebastian Vettel to Bahrain F1 pole on Ferrari’s day
Kash Ali disqualified for biting David Price in bizarre heavyweight bout
Attorney: NBA star Kristaps Porzingis is accused of rape
Suspect charged in slaying of University of South Carolina student Samantha Josephson
The Rolling Stones postpone U.S. shows, citing advice of Mick jagger's doctors
Purdue’s Carsen Edwards can match Steph Curry NCAA Tournament scoring mark
NASA will pay people $19000 to stay in bed for 2 months
Trump mocks Green New Deal, pokes fun at electric cars during Michigan rally
Texas Tech passes Michigan exam ... but bigger test awaits
Miami Open: Roger Federer reaches quarters, Simona Halep eyes No. 1 ranking
Anger and irreverence on the Brexit Day that wasn't
Justin Bieber Takes a Break From Music To Focus on Mental Health
Cardi B Is Defending Herself After A Video Showed Her Saying She Used To Drug And Rob Men: I Always Own My Shit
Conor McGregor reportedly under investigation for sexual assault
Jussie Smollett: Chicago mayor attacks 'whitewash of justice' as charges dropped
Ranking Roger Dead: The Beat And General Public Singer Dies, Aged 56
Mission Shakti, a long-desired capability tested
Vandals strike again: Downtown statue of Queen Victoria doused in green paint
Government could ignore indicative Brexit votes, says Liam Fox
Scott Walker, experimental pop hero, dies aged 76
Mel B Claims She Slept With Geri Halliwell During Spice Girls Era
‘Shazam!’ Film Review: DC Comics Gets a Bouncy Burst of Big-Screen Ebullience
Sydney Aiello, a survivor of the Parkland school shooting, dies by suicide
Larry Cohen, Writer-Director of 'It's Alive' and 'Hell Up in Harlem,' Dies at 77
Kylie Jenner Doubles Down On Being A "Self Made" Billionaire
Robert Mueller report will be a gold mine of improprieties. Trump shouldn't celebrate yet
Brexit stitch up: Revoke Article 50 petition hits 4 million – could pass 5 million TONIGHT
Barbra Streisand criticized after saying experience 'didn't kill' Michael Jackson accusers
Persona 5: The Royal Announced for PS4
The Obamas Show Support For Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez's Engagement in the Sweetest Way
Trump to lift 'not necessary' North Korea sanctions, White House confirms
Historic Midwest flooding devastates Nebraska, Iowa
Brooke Henderson three back after opening round of LPGA Thailand
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Honor New Zealand Shooting Victims
Mike Trout and LA Angels close to $430m deal, largest in sports history
Donald Trump suggests Brazil could join Nato as he meets Jair Bolsonaro
Here’s how you’ll access Google’s Stadia cloud gaming service
Will Jennifer Lopez Use a Cheating Clause in Her Prenup With Alex Rodriguez?
Chelsea Clinton Apologizes To Students Who Blame Her For NZ Attack
Australian Senator Fraser Anning punches teen after being egged
Lewis Hamilton responds to Valtteri Bottas message after Australian GP battle
Taylor Swift debuts pink hair at iHeartRadio Music Awards
Glastonbury 2019 Line-Up Announced With The Killers And The Cure Joining Stormzy As Headliners
Tesla Model Y: Musk's latest electric vehicle is almost here
'Avengers: Endgame' recruits a familiar face to save the world in new trailer: 'Whatever it takes'
Mosque attacks spark outrage, fuel concern over Islamophobia
New Zealand shooting: PewDiePie reacts after gunman named him before Christchurch attack
New Zealand Shooting: At Least 49 Dead After Massacre At New Zealand Mosques
Crew of Soyuz launch abort set for second try
Why a Kardashian-Jenner Biopic May Be in Our Near Future
Netflix confirms Madeleine McCann documentary release date
F1 race director Charlie Whiting dead
Triple Frontier Review: As They Say, Greed Is a Bottomless Pit
South Florida native Lamar Jackson records Instagram video of himself driving 105 MPH
The Tesla Model Y Is Coming, But Who Is Ready For It?
Frank Cali, alleged boss of New York's Gambino mafia family, shot dead outside his Staten Island home
Beto O’Rourke says he is running for US president
Pi day: What is Pi Day? How have Google broken a world record for Pi?
Kendall Jenner wears Ben Simmons’ jersey at Philadelphia 76ers game
Altior wins the Champion Chase
Jay Leno: Late-Night Shows Are Too Political
Desperate Housewives actress Felicity Huffman among 50 people arrested over £19m college admissions scam
Johnny Depp ‘Overwhelmed’ By Fan Support After Amber Heard Lawsuit
May Day: UK Parliament rejects prime minister’s Brexit deal
Hannah Brown Is the New Star of The Bachelorette, And She Already Gave Out a Rose
AP sources: Browns acquire Odell Beckham Jr. from Giants
One of the Most Recorded Musicians in History Is Dead
Brexit: Legal risk of backstop remains 'unchanged' says Geoffrey Cox
UK parliament speaker does not select any amendments for Brexit vote
Disney's first full 'Aladdin' trailer drops and Will Smith shines in all his genie glory
‘I’ll ‘f–k you up’: Westbrook lashes out at heckling Jazz fan
New York attorney general is investigating Trump projects
MMA fighter Conor McGregor released from jail after being charged with robbery
Brexit: Corbyn asks for PM's withdrawal agreement update
Storm Gareth: warnings issued about power cuts and travel difficulties
Kylie Jenner and Jordyn Woods Are Reportedly Hanging Out Again
Elon Musk's late-night announcement to raise prices and reopen some stores
Trump to make $8.6 billion wall demand, triggering new standoff with Congress
Boeing 737 black box found as planes grounded after Ethiopian Airlines crash
Kelly Catlin, U.S. Olympic Medalist, Dies At Age 23
WATCH: Distressed Serena Williams forced to quit match against Garbine Muguruza after claiming she can't breath
Zinedine Zidane to replace Santiago Solari as Real Madrid manager in coming hours
Amendola joining Lions in search for slot option
New Report Claims Chatroom Involving Seungri And Other Male Singers Shared Illegal Hidden Camera Footage
Pete Buttigieg calls Vice President Pence a 'cheerleader for the porn star presidency'
Alex Rodriguez cheating on Jennifer Lopez? Jose Canseco rips retired Yankees star, wants to fight him
Emmy Rossum Leaves Shameless: What Happened to Fiona Gallagher?
Shocking interview surfaces of Fox News host Tucker Carlson praising ‘young girls sexually experimenting’
Ethiopian Airlines grounds all Boeing 737 Max 8 planes
George Foreman’s daughter found dead in her home
Aston Villa’s Jack Grealish punched by fan in derby win at Birmingham City
Jaguar attacks woman taking a photo at Wildlife World Zoo in Arizona
Roscosmos Chief, Elon Musk Exchange Courtesies After SpaceX Capsule Landing
'SNL': Pete Davidson compares R. Kelly to the Catholic Church, addresses dating Kate Beckinsale
Jennifer Lopez And Alex Rodriguez Announce Engagement With Massive Ring
Gemma Collins has compared herself to Lady Gaga
Steelers agree to trade Antonio Brown to Raiders
Brexiteer MPs say delay would be political calamity
Ethiopian Airlines plane crash: Disaster on flight to Kenya as multiple deaths reported
London to host Formula E finale in 2020
Tesla Drops 1st Real Image Of The Model Y As Event Invites Go Out
Anthony Yarde closes in on title shot as boxing returns to Albert Hall
Newark Airport halts all flights after emergency landing
Meghan Markle reveals whether she still looks at Twitter, hopes that her royal baby will be a feminist
Jordyn Woods Returns to Instagram, Likes Kylie Jenner's Post After Cheating Scandal
Tesla Investors Are Suing Over Elon Musk's Bad Tweets
Facebook only cares about privacy because it has to
United States citizens will need a visa to visit Europe starting in 2021
Chelsea Manning Jailed For Refusing To Testify Over WikiLeaks
Jussie Smollett Charged By Grand Jury Over Empire Star’s Alleged Hate Attack Hoax
'Airwolf' actor and '80s heartthrob Jan-Michael Vincent dies
Manuel Petrovic Charged With Murder Of 17-Year-Old Jodie Chesney
JSU, Murray State meet in OVC semis
Klay Thompson 'shooting the lights out', says former Celtic Ray Allen
Worried about Brexit? What, with these geniuses in charge? | Marina Hyde
The Queen Gives Meghan Markle a New Role on International Women's Day
North Korea rocket site is being monitored 'in real time,' U.S. official says
SpaceX Dragon crew capsule makes successful splashdown after test flight