The Onion

Why celebs should get a workout in on Oscars morning
PewDiePie features Elon Musk and Rick and Morty’s Justin Roiland on Meme Review and fans can’t handle it
Stanley Donen, director of Singin' in the Rain, dies aged 94
Burnley’s Ashley Barnes hits Spurs’ title hopes with winner after Kane goal
Microsoft Workers Say the Company Is War Profiteering, and They’ve Timed Their Protest to Hurt
R. Kelly Turns Himself in to Chicago Police
Joe Swash mocking pregnant girlfriend Stacey Solomon on Instagram is everything
Jihadi Jack, the Briton accused of fighting for Isil: 'I miss my mum, pasties and Doctor Who - I want to go home'
Feinstein Gets Confrontational With Children Asking Her to Support Green New Deal
Comedian Brody Stevens dies at 48, prompting mourning: 'Everybody loved Brody'
Paul George for MVP: OKC fans go wild after dramatic winner in double OT win over Jazz
Historic Israeli Mission to the Moon Underway Following SpaceX Launch
Women: We Went to R. Kelly Concert, Ended Up Victims
Jordyn Woods Makes First Public Appearance Since Tristan Scandal
Stacey Solomon And Joe Swash Announce She's Pregnant With Their First Child
Teenager Who Murdered Six-Year-Old Alesha MacPhail Identified As Aaron Campbell
Police: Patriots owner Robert Kraft solicited prostitute
NASA’s confidence in SpaceX and Boeing may be wavering
Tesla begins Model 3 delivery in China ahead of schedule
Kylie Jenner Put Her Lipstick Shade Named After Jordyn Woods On Sale
Google Doodle marks 'Crocodile Hunter' Steve Irwin's birthday
Lakers climb back from double-digit deficit to beat Rockets 111-106
Six Key Numbers From Ariana Grande's Record-Breaking Week
MP Chris Davies charged over expenses claims
Dublin Airport forced to suspend all flights due to drone sighting over airfield
Jussie Smollett arrested by Chicago police for allegedly lying about attack
Beyoncé and Jay-Z pay unexpected tribute to Meghan, Duchess of Sussex
Hoda Muthana: Trump bars Alabama woman who joined ISIS from US return
Kim Kardashian Officially Unfollows Jordyn Woods and Tristan Thompson Amid Cheating Allegations
Puma deletes poor-taste tweet about Zion Williamson's Nike shoe mishap
Kilmarnock manager Steve Clarke calls out anti-Catholic abuse at Ibrox
Meghan Markle Hits Fancy NYC Restaurant with Serena Williams
Putin warns: Russia will target US with new weapons if it deploys missiles to Europe
Anna Soubry, Sarah Wollaston And Heidi Allen Quit Conservative Party To Join Independent Group Of MPs
Trump Wishes 'Crazy Bernie' Sanders Well
Ryder Cup: Steve Stricker named US captain for 2020 against Europe
Trey Gowdy Doesn't Believe McCabe's Obstruction Probe Claim
Kim Kardashian slams Fashion Nova over 'devastating' knockoffs
Trump Threatens To Cancel California's $929 Million High Speed Rail Grant
Lady Gaga splits from fiancé Christian Carino
Money talks: Padres' big offer brings Manny Machado to San Diego
‘This Is Us’: Susan Kelechi Watson on Beth’s Past, Grief and Working With Phylicia Rashad (SPOILERS)
Khloe Kardashian Splits With Tristan Thompson After He Allegedly Cheats With Kylie's BFF
Joan Ryan Becomes Eighth MP To Quit Labour To Join Independent Group
Instagram wants you to look like a good person, but Facebook just wants your credit card
Kylie Jenner: Get Rich or Die Following
Karl Lagerfeld, Chanel fashion designer, dies aged 85
Bernie Sanders 2020: where the presidential candidate stands on key issues – video profile
The Real Reason Prince William and Kate Middleton's Breakup Made Them Stronger
'Lara Logan' Trending on Twitter After Recommending Reading Breitbart to Get 'The Other Side'
Nigel Farage slams 'APPALLING' Angela Smith race apology - 'Looks like a HOSTAGE VIDEO!'
Malia Obama, 20, spotted sipping on a $20 bottle of Whispering Angel Rose with friends in Miami
Maajid Nawaz, LBC presenter, hurt in 'racially motivated' attack
Jussie Smollett 'Angered And Devastated' By Claims He Played A Role In His Own Attack
Labour MPs Ann Coffey, Chuka Umunna, Luciana Berger, Angela Smith, Chris Leslie, Gavin Shuker And Mike Gapes Quit Party To Form 'The Independent Group'
Carmaker Honda plans to close Swindon factory
Presidents Day shows how time can change legacies. Just look at Washington and Lincoln
How time spent in space creates unusual immune-system impact
Trump slams 'SNL' for mocking his national emergency
Team LeBron rallies to beat Team Giannis, 178-164
Conor McGregor hypes up Kron Gracie’s UFC debut on Velasquez vs Ngannou card
Newport West Labour MP Paul Flynn dies aged 84
Shawn Mendes Gives a New Meaning to the Word Smolder in His Calvin Klein Ad
'SNL': Alec Baldwin returns to mock Trump's national emergency press conference
Sergio Ramos sent off as Real Madrid’s resurgence is ended by Girona
Graham: I 'support' Trump emergency declaration
Miranda Lambert weds mystery man Brendan Mcloughlin
‘Bohemian Rhapsody,’ ‘Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’ Among Cinema Audio Society Winners
Chicago police seek follow-up interview with 'Empire' actor Jussie Smollett
Regional airline Flybmi collapses blaming Brexit uncertainty
Bellator 215 ends early after Sergei Kharitonov takes kick to groin
Payless is closing all its 2,100 US stores
‘Downfall’ star Bruno Ganz dead at 77
Kusal Perera heroics lead Sri Lanka to remarkable Test win in South Africa
Ashley Cole goal celebration: This is what Derby star really cared about when scoring
Jet carrying Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox Makes Emergency Landing
Colin Kaepernick reaches settlement with NFL over kneeling protest fallout
Streaming recommendations: The Umbrella Academy and Lorena, both arriving Friday
Aurora shooting: sacked employee kills five in Illinois warehouse
By any measure, Winx is streets ahead
Watch: Trump gives Rose Garden speech after vowing to declare national emergency
Kaepernick, Eric Reid settle collusion grievances with NFL
Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom are engaged
Former Massachusetts Gov. Bill Weld looking to challenge Trump in 2020 Republican primary
Trump plans national emergency to build border wall as Senate passes spending bill
Andrea Levy had to fight for a recognition she truly deserved
NASA heading back to Moon soon, and this time to stay
Miley Cyrus Marks Valentine's Day With A Series Of Sweet New Wedding Photos
Rachel Johnson goes completely topless for live Brexit debate
Brexiteer Steve Baker issues DIRE WARNING to Theresa May - 'will COLLAPSE the government'
'The beginning of great change': Greta Thunberg hails school climate strikes
Cardi B returns to Instagram and announces new single featuring Bruno Mars
'Breaking Bad' Film Reportedly Headed to Netflix and AMC
Actress Regina King nearly trampled while courtside during NBA game
Singer Ryan Adams hits back over claims of sexual misconduct
FBI's Andrew McCabe feared he would be fired before Trump investigations were on 'solid ground'
Parkland one year on: what victories have gun control advocates seen?
Happy Valentines Day! The BEST messages and quotes to write in a Valentine’s Day card
Kendall Jenner wears blazer with no pants at New York Fashion Week
Michelle Obama's Grammy appearance did not impress mom
Airbus to scrap production of A380 superjumbo
London schoolgirl who fled to join Isis wants to return to UK
Eric Harrison, Manchester United’s Class of 92 coach, dies aged 81
Rapper YNW Melly Charged In Double Murder of His Friends
Jennifer Lopez Announces U.S. 'It's My Party' Tour for 50th Birthday
Trump intends to sign border deal to avoid another shutdown
Galentine's Day 2019: Why women across the world celebrate female friendship on 13 February
Anthony Joshua set for career-high purse as Jarrell Miller fight nears confirmation
'Frozen 2' Trailer Debuts Online
Lady Gaga Defends Brave Cardi B Amid Grammy Win Backlash
Katy Perry's fashion line under fire
UK chief Brexit negotiator Olly Robbins warns MPs the choice is May's deal or extension
This Is Us Just Added Another Twist to Kevin's Story...What Happens Now?
Huge second-half comeback lifts No. 2 Duke at Louisville
$500,000 Will Get You Ticket To Mars, Hopes Elon Musk
George Clooney Comes to Meghan Markle's Defense
NASA astronaut Mark Kelly launches Senate campaign
Nintendo Direct To Air Tomorrow, Wednesday 13th February
Gordon Banks, World Cup winner with England in 1966, dies aged 81
Jennifer Aniston's 50th birthday party packed with exes
Reddit users are the least valuable of any social network
John Dorsey believes Kareem Hunt signing will create competition
Grammys 2019 worst dressed: Cardi B and Katy Perry in most bizarre frocks on red carpet
'The Bachelor' recap: Shocker! Colton sends 4 contestants home, 1 quits
Why Was Jennifer Lopez Representing Black Music History at the Grammys?
Grammys 2019: Joy Villa dresses up in barbed wire and Donald Trump border wall dress
Netflix’s Roma wins best film and best director awards at BAFTAs
Rep. Ilhan Omar faces backlash over AIPAC comments
British ‘lethality’? Gavin Williamson’s brain has gone absent without leave
Grammys 2019 Winners List: Kacey Musgraves And Childish Gambino Are Top Artists
Grammys 2019 best dressed: Alicia Keys and Lady Gaga exude style in red carpet pictures
Cardi B the first woman to win best rap album Grammy
Grammys 2019: Ariana Grande Has Her Red Carpet Moment, Despite Not Actually Being On Red Carpet
Halsey on SNL: She hosted, sang, and painted a giant upside-down portrait
Let's not overreact, but Brad Pitt turned up to Jennifer Aniston's 50th birthday party
Tesla Model 3 = #1 Best Selling Electric Car in World, 7% of Global EV Market in 2018
Prince Philip gives up driving licence three weeks after car crash
Jeff Bezos's messy 2019: Divorce, blackmail and an Amazon HQ2 feud
Elizabeth Warren launches White House 2020 bid
Russell Westbrook ties NBA record for consecutive triple-doubles; James Harden scores 42
Uber drivers are not a fan of Halsey
Ariana Grande drops album amid Grammys spat
National Enquirer faces new legal woes after Bezos claims
Virginia black caucus, Dem lawmakers call for Justin Fairfax to step down after new sexual assault accusation
British rapper Cadet dies in taxi crash on way to Staffordshire gig
Pogba drives Manchester United into top four as Fulham fans rail at Ranieri
Patriots WR, Super Bowl MVP Julian Edelman looks completely different after shaving his giant beard
Sharon Osbourne supports Ariana Grande snubbing the Grammys
Danniella Westbrook Sent To Rehab By 'Good Mate' Jeremy Kyle
UK weather: Storm Erik batters Britain with rain and 70mph winds
Jeff Van Gundy says Gayle Benson should stand up to NBA, disses local reporters during ESPN broadcast
Kim Kardashian Makes Big Baby No. 4 Reveal & Talks Kanye West's Many Feuds in New KUWTK Season 16 Promo! on Kardashians
Body recovered from plane wreckage identified as footballer Emiliano Sala
Whitaker squares off with Democrats at fiery hearing
Tory MP Christopher Chope Does It Again Blocks Bill To Protect Women At Risk Of FGM
Albert Finney, cinema's original 'angry young man', dies aged 82
Jeff Bezos accuses National Enquirer owner of 'extortion and blackmail'
Former Rep. John Dingell dies at 92
Rajon Rondo delivers the dagger to the Celtics
The Drama Between Ariana Grande And The Grammys Just Escalated
Cindy McCain apologizes for disputed sex trafficking claim
BB&T to Buy SunTrust in Biggest Bank Merger Since Financial Crisis
Gucci withdraws $890 jumper after blackface backlash
Little sign of Brexit progress as May and Juncker clash
Bank of England sees weakest outlook for the UK since 2009 amid Brexit uncertainty
SpaceX and Boeing commercial crew capsule test dates slip yet again
Germany to fall short of 2020 climate goals: report
NASA lost contact with two mini Mars spacecraft and they don't know exactly why
Elon Musk Recommends You Watch This Movie
Brexit: What awaits Theresa May in Brussels after 'hell' jibe?
Trump's State of the Union showed he represents the people, not the swamp
Kim Kardashian responds to tabloid criticizing her 'bad skin day'
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Reveals Why She Refused To Be ‘Spirited And Warm’ For Trump
'Modern Family' has been renewed for the final 11th season
Sources: Clippers agree to deal Harris to Sixers
Donald Tusk: 'special place in hell' for those who promoted Brexit without plan
Ariana Grande Not Attending Grammys After Disagreements With Producers
Cory Booker says he's in a relationship
Boyfriend left Holby City actor John Michie's daughter to die of drug overdose because he didn't want to be arrested, court hears
State of the Union: Trump attacks Mueller and Democrats in divisive speech
Child abuser Rolf Harris investigated over entering school grounds
BBC Veteran John Humphrys Is Set To Leave Today Show This Year
Is Meghan Markle Using A Doula?
Kendall Jenner Got Bangs and She Looks Like a Completely Different Person
Andy Cohen welcomes baby boy via surrogate
John Barnes Says Liam Neeson 'Deserves A Medal' Amid Controversy Over Independent Interview
2 Indian-American women oppose nomination of Neomi Rao
Lunar New Year 2019: Year of the Pig is welcomed across Asia
Democratic women to send political message by wearing white to State of the Union
Did Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott Get Engaged at the Super Bowl?
Apex Legends Hits 1 Million Players In 8 Hours
First-ever papal mass begins in the Arabian peninsula
HMV sold to Canada's Sunrise Records
When, where and how to watch President Donald Trump's 2019 State of the Union address
With wait over, Bengals free to hire Zac Taylor as coach
Liam Neeson: After a friend was raped, I wanted to kill a black man
Bill Gross Retires After Storied Four-Decade Career in Bonds
'Young and Restless' actor Kristoff St. John dead at 52
World Cancer Day: German health minister defends setting 'big goals'
A third of Himalayan ice cap doomed, finds report