Fun Toy Banned Because Of 3 Stupid Dead Kids
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February 05, 2021
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New Erectile Dysfunction Startup Sends Ripped, Virile Man Directly To Your Door To Bang Your Spouse
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January 29, 2021
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Most Children Go Missing The Moment Parent Turns Attention Toward Themself For One Goddamn Second
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January 22, 2021
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Hundreds Killed In Brutal Pro-Something-Anti-Something Clash
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January 15, 2021
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CDC Says Kids Will Be Last To Get Vaccine Because What Are Those Little Twerps Going To Do About It
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January 08, 2021
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The Onion Reviews ‘Wonder Woman 1984’
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January 04, 2021
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Baboon Couple Sues National Geographic For Distributing Private Sex Tape
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December 11, 2020
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Anti-Jacketers Rally Outside Burlington Coat Factory To Protest Liberal Cold Weather Conspiracy
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December 04, 2020
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Man Hasn’t Heard Or Read Single True Thing In 6 Years
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November 28, 2020
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New United Ultra Economy Class Tickets Lets Passengers Get Dragged Behind Plane By Giant Rope
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November 20, 2020
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Overwhelmed White Nationalist Militia Spread Too Thin Plotting Attacks Against Everyone Trump Wants
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November 13, 2020
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Frustrated Political Scientist Patton Oswalt Attempts To Explain Gerrymandering Without Visual Aids
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November 06, 2020
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Health Experts Determine College Social Distancing Guidelines Still No Match For The Jasonator
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October 30, 2020
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Scientists Discover Dangerous Link Between Book Learnin’, Back Talk
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October 23, 2020
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Piece Of Sh*t From Nearby Town Marries Bitch From High School
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October 16, 2020
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Disney World On Lockdown After Mickey Escapes Enclosure, Rampages Through Park
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October 09, 2020
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Real Estate Experts Confirm Having George Clooney Living In Attic Greatly Increases Property Value
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October 02, 2020
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Diary Entries Reveal Ben Franklin’s Kite Experiment Was Early Attempt At Erotic Electrostimulation
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September 25, 2020
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Huge Quantities Of Primo Sh*t Incinerated By Feds
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September 18, 2020
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Zoologists Thrilled After Successfully Getting Pair Of Bengal Tigers To 69 In Captivity
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September 11, 2020
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