April 25, 2020
Most of us can recall a time we really fancied someone until we kissed them. It can be a real vibe-killer to find out your crush snogs like a washing machine stuck on the highest speed setting, or worse, covers you with dry kisses like a fish gasping for water. Testing a physical connection is all part of the process when looking for a potential romantic interest. Sure, it’s not the only thing that should exist in a healthy relationship, but it’s a damn-good indicator whether things will work on “that” level. So why has physical intimacy been shunned in Netflix’s new show Too Hot To Handle and what kind of message does that send to viewers about forming healthy relationships?
Netflixs Too Hot To Handle Sends A Toxic Message About Intimacy
Make the most of your time in lockdown with a daily dose of celebrity news and guides to the best shows. Sign up to the entertainment newsletter.
If you haven’t seen Netflix’s answer to Love Island yet, let me catch you up. The eight-part series follows ten hot singletons from the US, UK and Australia who have travelled to a tropical paradise in hope of winning the grand prize of $100,000. Once on the island however, the contestants are told that in order to win, they have to keep their hands to themselves. The rules are - no kissing, no “heavy petting” of any kind and certainly no sex for an entire month. Every rule broken results in money being taken away from the communal prize - kisses cost the group £3,000, while sex is priced at £20,000. As some get it on, others are left frustrated, with one guy hilariously counting the deducted cash in “lost trips to Dubai.” Adding even more tension to the already chaotic reality TV show, a cone-shaped Robot named Lana monitors every move to ensure there’s no cheating. However cheating is the only thing contestants can think about when there’s nothing else for them to do.Netflix had a real opportunity to make a show that’s both entertaining and wholesome, but sadly it pivoted to slut-shaming instead.A chest tattoo spelling out 6.9.69 in roman numerals perfectly encapsulates the mood of the show. Too Hot To Handle is enjoyable and in equal parts binge-able, especially for an audience currently living through a pandemic. Seeing as the lockdown has killed off the dating scene and left us desperate for human connection, the show is a comforting and relatable watch for those cursing the restrictive rules of social distancing. At the very least, it has stopped me unsubtly hitting up past flames.
Yet, an uncomfortable undercurrent permeates the Netflix Original. By removing the experience of physical intimacy, the show falsely equates abstinence for love, making a toxic statement about dating. Too Hot To Handle is not the first to introduce “restrictive dating” to our televisions, Love Is Blind, Married at First Sight and The Circle are popular predecessors. These shows try to convince viewers that removing a physical aspect of a relationship will allow contestants to deepen their emotional experiences, but it has nothing to do with moral lessons and everything to do with producing entertaining TV. To pretend that holding off a physical relationship will ensure a great relationship later down the line is a straight up lie. Why are we so stuck on the idea that you can’t do both at the same time? To me it feels backwards, dishonest and frankly, you’d expect these kinds of views to belong in an outdated 19th century text, not a Netflix show airing in 2020.Related... Netflix's Too Hot To Handle Is Here To Give Love Island Fans Some Much-Needed Reality And Romance From the get-go, the contestants are judged by the number of people they’ve slept with and their lack of long-term relationships. They’re painted as loud, dumb and unserious. Contestant Chloe racks up a small bill by kissing some of the boys on the show, but these kisses are important, making her realise there’s no real chemistry there. It seems strange to punish her for it when she gently lets the guys know she’s not interested afterwards – a mature and healthy way of handling that kind of situation. Even more baffling is the rewards system set up to give contestants the “green light” when they’ve been vulnerable with one another. During these moments, Lana the AI allows the couples to kiss because they’ve “earned it”, but this type of restriction attaches so much shame to physical aspects of a relationship. It’s one thing to work on scars of previous romantic experiences, usually left in the form of trust and intimacy issues, but it’s another thing entirely to shame people for wanting to have a smooch.
It’s easy to forget that the contestants didn’t ask for this. If they wanted to work on deepening their emotional connections, they might have saved the hassle and gone to a therapist. Too Hot To Handle teaches them nothing and pretending it does is disingenuous. The contestants are there for money and fame, while Netflix is there to make consumable content. If the producers were so invested in real connections, they wouldn’t have picked an international cast that would struggle to make relationships work on the outside.
It’s undeniable that a fear of intimacy exists in the dating scene, but working through the problems is the answer, not enforcing sex bans for our amusement. Netflix had a real opportunity to make a show that’s both entertaining and wholesome, but sadly it pivoted to slut-shaming instead.
Diyora Shadijanova is a freelance multimedia journalist, writing features on culture and digital culture.Related... Too Hot To Handle & Making The Cut | Good Vibes Only: Lockdown Netflix's Too Hot To Handle Is Here To Give Love Island Fans Some Much-Needed Reality And Romance As Too Hot To Handle Debuts On Netflix, Here Are 12 Even More Outrageous Dating Shows What's New On Netflix UK In April? Here Are The Best Films And Series To Watch While Self-Isolating
Related Stories
Latest News
Top news around the world
Academy Awards

‘Oppenheimer’ Reigns at Oscars With Seven Wins, Including Best Picture and Director

Get the latest news about the 2024 Oscars, including nominations, winners, predictions and red carpet fashion at 96th Academy Awards

Around the World

Celebrity News

> Latest News in Media

Watch It
Millie Bobby Brown & Jake Bongiovi Celebrate “Three Years of Bliss” Ahead of Wedding
March 24, 2024
C4Ehegcq1-A
Kate Middleton & Prince William "Enormously Touched" by Public Support
March 24, 2024
s8fig-RCjFc
Gisele Bündchen Denies Cheating on Ex-Husband Tom Brady
March 23, 2024
_SpRMagA8BM
Eminem, 50 Cent & Snoop Dogg Present Dr. Dre with a Star on the Walk of Fame
March 19, 2024
4bNLs1hxVp8
Opening Remarks for the Variety Summit October 20th, 2023 Jay Penske
March 18, 2024
c6Z707iLq8E
'Everybody Was S----ing Their Pants': Nick Thune Jokes About Being Born in the '70s and Fatherhood
March 16, 2024
mm7Baf6o2d8
Gunna Says Tour Will Up Creativity in Rap, Endorses Flo Milli | TMZ
March 22, 2024
QfMU24fw-Qo
Reporter Taylor Lorenz Says Palace Botched Kate Cancer News Rollout | TMZ Live
March 22, 2024
o43ZucdiyEo
Riley Strain's Body Found After Going Missing in Nashville 2 Weeks Ago | TMZ NOW
March 22, 2024
1m1zM-4_Cs8
Kyle Richards hasn’t spoken to co-star Dorit Kemsley, denies sending her a ‘manipulative’ text
March 24, 2024
LqLZzDP1hm4
Jordan Emanuel on her connection to 'RHOSLC' star Meredith Marks, advice from Amanda Batula
March 24, 2024
5NPAwlOov1Y
Kate Middleton’s uncle Gary apologizes after slamming ‘fickle’ Meghan Markle in scathing interview
March 24, 2024
JWG9kitALZk
TV Schedule
Late Night Show
Watch the latest shows of U.S. top comedians

Sports

Latest sport results, news, videos, interviews and comments
Latest Events
20
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Playoffs - Women
SK Brann W - Barcelona W
20
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Playoffs - Women
Hacken W - PSG W
19
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Playoffs - Women
SL Benfica W - Lyon W
19
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Playoffs - Women
Ajax W - Chelsea W
17
Mar
SPAIN: La Liga
Atletico Madrid - Barcelona
17
Mar
ENGLAND: FA Cup
Manchester United - Liverpool
17
Mar
ITALY: Serie A
Inter Milan - Napoli
17
Mar
ENGLAND: Premier League
Brighton - Manchester City
17
Mar
GERMANY: Bundesliga
Borussia Dortmund - Eintracht Frankfurt
17
Mar
ENGLAND: FA Cup
Chelsea - Leicester City
17
Mar
ITALY: Serie A
Roma - Sassuolo
17
Mar
ITALY: Serie A
Verona - AC Milan
17
Mar
ITALY: Serie A
Juventus - Genoa
16
Mar
GERMANY: Bundesliga
Darmstadt - Bayern Munich
16
Mar
ENGLAND: FA Cup
Manchester City - Newcastle United
16
Mar
ENGLAND: Premier League
Fulham - Tottenham Hotspur
16
Mar
SPAIN: La Liga
Osasuna - Real Madrid
13
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: 1/8 Final
Atletico Madrid - Inter Milan
12
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: 1/8 Final
Barcelona - Napoli
12
Mar
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: 1/8 Final
Arsenal - Porto
11
Mar
ENGLAND: Premier League
Chelsea - Newcastle United
10
Mar
ENGLAND: Premier League
Liverpool - Manchester City
10
Mar
SPAIN: La Liga
Real Madrid - Celta Vigo
10
Mar
ENGLAND: Premier League
Aston Villa - Tottenham Hotspur
10
Mar
ITALY: Serie A
Juventus - Atalanta
10
Mar
ITALY: Serie A
Fiorentina - Roma
10
Mar
ITALY: Serie A
AC Milan - Empoli
Find us on Instagram
at @feedimo to stay up to date with the latest.
Featured Video You Might Like
zWJ3MxW_HWA L1eLanNeZKg i1XRgbyUtOo -g9Qziqbif8 0vmRhiLHE2U JFCZUoa6MYE UfN5PCF5EUo 2PV55f3-UAg W3y9zuI_F64 -7qCxIccihU pQ9gcOoH9R8 g5MRDEXRk4k
Copyright © 2020 Feedimo. All Rights Reserved.